Resurgent

Chapter 20

After eating some dinner, Tobias shows me to a bed.

"I'm sure you're exhausted." He says as he opens the door to his bedroom. "You can sleep here. I'll take the couch."

I stare in horror at the bed, afraid of what nightmares will haunt me tonight. I want to stay awake with Tobias, but I know he needs to sleep. Considering he didn't offer to sleep next to me, I assume that he doesn't want to. I don't remember the level of our relationship, but I think it's best to follow his lead.

I offer a half smile and walk with heavy legs toward the bed. With each step, the people in the simulation flash before me. I sit down on the edge of the bed and sigh heavily, thinking Tobias has left. I drop my shoulders and place my head in my hands. I want to remember everything so desperately. Why am I getting these nightmares? What am I supposed to be doing? Who am I? I push the palms of my hands into my eyes until I start to see little specks of light, half trying to remember something--anything--and half trying to push the nightmarish people out of my mind.

"Tris," I look up in embarrassment to see that Tobias is still standing in the doorway, his shoulder leaning on the door frame. He walks over and sits down beside me. For a while, we just sit in silence. It feels nice, though, to just have him here. Still looking at the ground, Tobias says in a peaceful, low voice, "It's okay not to be okay."

I raise my head and meet my eyes with his. As usual, they have that complex deepness that is so intriguing. But this time, his eyes also look wise. I can tell that what he said is something he learned, from his past.

"Could you..." I say as I lower my eyes, "could you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

We crawl under the sheets of the bed, but Tobias leaves a respectable distance between us. I catch myself smiling as I appreciate the difference between Peter and Tobias. Just knowing that he's here is comforting. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breaths.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exha...

🔼🔽🔼

Jeanine jumps towards me from behind a wall and aims her gun at me. Seeing the opportunity when a loud noise from behind distracts her, I swing my arm towards her face. She's too quick, though, and fires her gun, hitting my foot. I cry out in pain.

I'm lying on the floor, clutching my foot, as I see Peter and the others approaching from behind Jeanine. She smiles and laughs.

"Ah, Tris. You're so naive. Don't you know you can't win? You're only a fragile little girl."

Her too-calm voice infuriates me and I stand up, trying to forget the pain in my foot. As soon as I am up, Jeanine laughs again and shoots me in my thigh. I fall down. Edward comes up and hovers above me, grinning. He plucks the fork out of his eye and runs it gently down my face.

"It's a shame such a pretty face will be all scratched up. Or maybe I should just ruin one of your eyes. I mean, that is how the saying goes, isn't it? 'An eye for an eye.'"

"I didn't do it. I didn't do that to your eye! It wasn't me!" I yell and try to stand up. Once I gain my balance, I clench my fists and place my arms in front of my face. I can tell that he is stronger than me, so fighting him won't do any good. Still, if I don't try to defend myself he will ram the fork into my eye.

When he lunges at me, I duck and kick him in the stomach, which knocks him to the ground. Seeing my chance to get rid of him for good, I place my hands around his neck and squeeze.

"Tris!" He pleads as he gasps for air. I ignore it.

"Tris, stop!" This time, his voice sounds different. I feel arms on my waist and my heart jumps as I think that Edward is undefeatable.

It's when my name is repeated for a third time that I realize what I'm doing. I look down to see my hands on Tobias's neck, his hands on my waist trying to get me off without hurting me. I quickly release and step off of him. His neck is red from where I was strangling him. In horror, I look down at my hands. How could I do this? I'm no better than the people in my nightmares. I start to back up towards the door.

"Tris, it's okay." Tobias says as he slides out of bed. "Let's just talk about this. It was one of your nightmares, right?"

"I...I have to go." I turn and run out of the room, and out his front door. The cold air stings my eyes as I run. My barefeet slap the pavement. I keep running as fast as I can, my mind racing even faster. I almost killed him. These nightmares have to stop. I need answers.