Resurgent

Chapter 16

I thrash the air, trying to escape from the people around me. All I see is darkness, but I can feel the strong arms covering my face. I scream and kick and try to twist my body out of their strong grasp. I stand above a roaring chasm and I know what they plan to do with me. As I feel the arms shove me away, I jump upright and gasp. It isn't as dark was a second ago. I frantically scan the area, my heart still beating rapidly. I can barely make out where I am. A small yelp escapes me when I see someone beside me and I jump out of the bed I am in. It takes me a few moments to realize that I am in Peter's room. Still, I can't seem to make my heart calm down and my mind focus. I need to go for a walk, like I do every night when I have a nightmare-this random memory scares me. These are regular occurrences?

I glance over at Peter and see that he's still asleep. Quietly, I slip on my black pants underneath my oversized t-shirt and walk out the door. The street lights are bright enough for me to see where I'm going, but it's still dark enough to keep me on edge. I cross my arms to try and block out the cold. I should have brought a jacket but didn't want to risk waking Peter up while looking for one. The wind violently blows my hair behind my back. As usual, I don't have a destination in mind. I just keep walking, focusing my eyes on my feet.

I walk around the city until I can see the sun rise. I know that I should probably get back to Peter, but I don't feel like explaining where I went. So, I continue walking until I end up at the metal structure from yesterday. I sit down and lean against it. I didn't realize that I actually am tired until I close my eyes for a few moments.

"Tris?" A deep voice startles me. I must have accidentally fallen asleep. I open my sleepy eyes and see Tobias standing in front of me, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

"What are you doing here?" I spit out with an accusatory glare.

"I was just going to ask you that." He looks around. "Where's Peter?"

"Why do you care?" I stand up. I told myself I wouldn't talk to him again, after what he did to Peter, but for some reason I can't seem to make myself leave.

"Tris, I'm sorry...about everything. I don't know why I punched him it's just..." He lowers his eyes to the ground. "Him kissing you was the last straw. I couldn't stand it."

"Why does that bother you? I think it is totally reasonable for my boyfriend to kiss me."

"Your what?" He raises his eyes again to meet mine. "Peter is not your boyfriend."

"Yes, he is! Before I lost my memory, we were in love and I even lived with him. So I don't think you have any right to just barge into our relationship and try to split us up!"

"Is that what he told you? That you two were in love?" Tobias asks in a small, quiet voice.

I nod my head. Tobias turns away from me and grabs his hair. After a few moments pass, he faces me again.

"Tris, he's lying to you. You never even dated him."

"No. No, that's not true." I shake my head. My mind is flustered and I can't think clearly. Who is telling the truth? "You're just jealous."

"You're right. I am jealous." He says with the same small, low voice. "I'm jealous because I see you with him and it upsets me because that used to be us. I love you and just a few days ago, you loved me."

"Stop...you're just making this up." I search my mind and try so desperately to remember. "Someone who loves me wouldn't elbow me in the gut."

"You can't expect someone who loves you to be perfect, Tris! I don't know how many times I have to keep apologizing for that. I got caught up in the moment and didn't realize it was you. I really am sorry. And I really do love you." He takes a step towards me but I move away. "Tris, please. I messed up one time and you're going to give up on us just like that?"

"This is just a lot for me to take in right now, okay? As far as I know, there is no 'us.' Have you even considered how confused I might be? Forget it. I don't expect you to understand, Four." I spit the name out like an insult.

"What did you just call me?" He asks, not angrily, but instead with a slight hint of happiness.

"You obviously heard me." I say with a monotone voice. Unexpectedly, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground. For a moment, we pause and I look into his eyes. What kind of man is he really? After I snap out of my daze, I push him away and jump to the ground.

"You're slowly remembering things, Tris."

I realize that I didn't know his nickname was Four. No one told me about it; it just slipped into my mind. Still, I don't know who I loved, what my purpose was, or who I am supposed to be.

"Whatever. I have to get back. I didn't tell Peter where I was going and he's probably worried about me." Even after saying I would leave, I find myself still standing in front of Tobias.

"That's one of his shirts. You slept there last night, didn't you?" He asks, his voice tight with hurt.

"Yeah. It was a lot nicer than when I slept in the Med Room."

"Tris, I just want you to know that I'm not going to wait around for you."

"Okay?" I look at him with confusion. I never asked him to wait for me.

"I can't. You either give me a chance now, or go with Peter and leave me for good. If you choose him, I'll have to respect that. But I can't see you again if you do. It's too painful and I can't risk hurting anyone again."

My heart and mind race. Why should I believe anything he's told me? But then again, why shouldn't I? After thinking about it, I realize that the only way I can really tell if he's telling the truth is to spend time with him.

"Can you show me where to get some new clothes?" I shyly smile.

"Of course." He grins and gestures towards the tall buildings in the distance.