Resurgent

Chapter 18

 "So, where do we go from here?" I ask as I slowly slide my arms away from his warm chest.

"Let's just stay here for a little while longer." Tobias cradles my head as he gently places his lips onto mine.

I smile and pull away, blushing.

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows pull together in concern.

"Nothing...it's just...I still don't remember anything. I just don't want to go too fast."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Tris." Tobias takes a small step away from me. "I thought it was okay for me to..."

"No, it is okay," I say with a little more emphasis than I intended. "I'm just...I'm not very good at any of this."

He smiles and opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Caleb reentering the room.

"Alright, I have to work soon so we need to do your checkup now." Caleb says while shooting a glare at Tobias. I'm still not sure why he is always so annoyed with him. "So I just need to ask you a few questions and look at your brain activity in your hippocampus and frontal lobe, then you and I can leave."

"You mean then you can leave, right?" Tobias quickly asks.

"No. I know that you have to work, Tobias, so I confirmed with Headquarters that Tris can follow me around and see what I do. Perhaps she will be interested in joining me in my research."

"Yeah, right." Tobias scoffs. "She would never want to work with you after what you did to her."

"Well, as of now, what happened in the past is no longer known to Beatrice." Caleb replies nonchalantly, pleased to have gotten under Tobias's skin.

"But it's still Tris." Tobias snaps back. "She is going to remember everything soon, and when she does, she will despise you even more."

"Oh, and you think she would want to sit in your tiny office all day and watch what you do?" Caleb snarkily retorts. "Yes, watching you fill out paperwork and make phone calls is definitely more interesting than viewing my tests of ground-breaking research on new simulations."

I roll my eyes. I could probably walk out of this room and they wouldn't notice because they are too caught up in their own argument. I try to follow why they're arguing, but it's hard when I can't remember anything. Tobias said that I'll remember soon, but is that false hope? Maybe I will always be stuck in this state of only half knowing and vague recollections. Maybe I will never fully know who I am. Maybe I will have to recreate myself based on what information I'm given now.

After arguing for a few more minutes, I sit on my medical bed and tell Caleb to just look at my brain already. He attaches little wires on my forehead and either side of my head. After he does so, he taps on the computer keyboard, then asks me various questions. They're simple ones, like "what is your name" and "how old are you." Slowly, though, the questions get harder. I close my eyes and tell myself to focus.

"Who is Uriah?" Caleb asks the fourth hard question, intently looking at the screen showing my brain activity.

An image of a boy flashes in my mind, which I somehow recognize as Uriah. I bite my thumb, trying to force my brain to work and remember how I know him. I feel as though the information is on the tip of my tongue, just waiting to spill out.

"Tris, it's okay." Tobias gently places his hand on my shoulder.

I continue to bite down on my thumb, harder and harder, for some reason hoping the pain will bring the memory back. My eyes stay squeezed shut and I clench my teeth together as hard as I can.

Think. Think harder. I'm not trying hard enough. Think. Think. Think.

"Tris," Tobias softly says, "Really, it's okay. Stop. It'll come to you eventually."

I don't listen to him and instead continue to try and think of how I know the dark-skinned, young boy named Uriah.

Suddenly, I feel the wires pop off of my head. Confused, I open my eyes and see Tobias holding them.

"Put those back on." I demand. "I can do this."

"No," Tobias replies as he lets the wires drop and hang loosely from the monitor. "You are making yourself bleed." He grabs my thumb, which is only slightly bleeding, and looks up at me. "You're pushing yourself too hard. Please, stop for today."

Exasperated, I let my shoulders drop and my body relax. I wasn't able to answer any of the hard questions. I would have kept trying if it wasn't for Tobias's sad look in his eyes.

"Even though you couldn't answer the more complicated questions," Caleb begins, still examining the monitor, "your activity in the hippocampus did spike more than usual, especially when I asked about Uriah. You saw an image of him, didn't you?"

I nod.

"I thought so. This is really good improvement, believe it or not. Eventually, your brain should adapt accordingly and help fit all of the pieces together, enabling you to remember everything."

I offer a half smile, still kind of trying to remember who Uriah is.

"Alright, so that's all for today." Caleb says as he powers down the computers. "Let's go get some lunch and then we can head over to Headquarters. I think you'll really like learning about my research."

"Um, okay." I hesitantly say, looking at Tobias for approval.

"It's your decision, Tris." Tobias shrugs. "I have a meeting with Johanna Reyes today and I don't think it would be a good idea for you to sit in. I still haven't told her about you being alive. It's really big news that I think should wait. You could hang out at my house while I'm in it, though."

"Oh. Yeah, maybe we should wait until I can actually remember who she is." I jokingly respond. "I'll go with Caleb. It might be nice to forget about everything I've forgotten."

Tobias chuckles, but I can tell that he's still worried by my memory loss. It's so easy for me to not realize how my memory affects other people, especially him.

I give Tobias one last hug, which turns into a kiss, and follow Caleb outside of my Med Room. I don't know what to expect when visiting Caleb's workplace, but I do hope to find some answers about my past.