Resurgent

Chapter 8

“Hey!” I shout as I approach Tobias, who is standing just outside the door to the building of his work and my Med Room.

“Well hello there.” He says with a flash of teeth and warm embrace. “I didn’t expect to see you until this evening.”

“I could leave if you want…” I tease with a sly smile.

“Of course not,” Tobias gently pulls me closer to him. “Anything bring you here besides the fact that you just can’t stay away from me?”

“Christina kicked me out of her apartment. I’m supposed to have all my stuff out by this evening.”

“Why would she do that?” I’m surprised to see a quick blaze of anger flicker in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” I lie. “I think she is just trying to help me. You know, finally start my life again.” I try to sound positive about the situation, but my frustration makes my throat tight. Tobias notices and strokes my hair to calm me down. I know what he is going to suggest next, and brace myself for the inevitable invitation to stay with him.

“Well, Tris,” he starts, “this is the perfect timing for you to stay with me then. I mean, your only other option is Caleb and I don’t think you would want to stay with him. You said you have to be out by this evening? Should I tell them I feel sick and leave work early to help you with your things?” I don’t have to heart to stop him from bubbling with excitement. I smile as I admire him pouring over the littlest details. Even when he is thrilled he has a peaceful façade about him. His soothing, deep voice and relaxed face don’t match his electrified eyes and excited questions, but yet it all somehow blends together beautifully.

 “After we move you in let’s go celebrate with dinner. Or actually, I’ll cook you something. I’m really, really happy about this moment, Tris.” His lips find mine and I don’t pull away, no matter how shameful I feel right now.

“Tobias, I actually…” I take a deep, shaky breath, “I…I can’t move in with you. I’m still not ready.”

“Nice try, but I know you’re acting.”

“I wish I was. Tobias, I…I’m moving in with someone else.” I force myself to keep eye contact. “It’s only for a little while. Maybe not even two weeks. I still really want to move into your place, though.”

“With someone else?” Tobias hesitantly questions. “You’re choosing Caleb…over me?”

“No, I’m not going to be living with Caleb. And I’m not choosing this person over you…it’s something I have to do, not something I want to do.”

“Who? Shauna? I thought she was getting ready to move in with Zeke. Oh, Cara.”

“No, it’s neither of them.” My throat feels like it’s swollen as I try to continue. “This person has a really big house and it is two stories, so I can sleep on the top level and he can sleep downstairs.”

“He?” Jealously takes over Tobias. “Tris, who are you moving in with?”

“Peter,” I finally spit out.

“Peter?” He says the name like a swear word. “You can’t be serious! After everything he’s done to you, you want to move in with him?”

“He’s different now. I mean, sure he can be a little rude but he is actually nice to me. I don’t know what happened in the years I missed, but he is funny and intelligent, without ever being mean about it. I didn’t think I would ever be able to forget everything he did, but somehow he makes it possible.”

“No. You are not doing this. I will buy you your own apartment before I let you move in with him.”

“You know I won’t let you buy me housing. Come on, Tobias, it’s Peter. He will always be a jerk but for the time being he is acting like a friend.” I pause before I continue. “You can’t seriously be jealous…I mean, Peter will always be him typical self. There is no reason to get upset.”

“No reason?” He repeats. “Tris, you want to know why Peter is acting so different? It’s because he is different. He chose to drink the Memory Serum, which made him forget everything except for his name. Sure, some of the same aspects of his personality came back on their own, but as far as we’re concerned, Peter is just a guy you’ve never met before.”

I absorb everything I heard. That’s why he didn’t recognize me, and why he is actually showing interest in me. None of it is a joke. Peter is a new person. However, he’s still a kind, funny friend and his home is a good refuge for now.

“I didn’t know that. But still, he is just a friend.” I don’t feel as sympathetic for Tobias as I did in the beginning of this conversation. “Are you jealous because he gets to live with me and you don’t? Or are you jealous because you think I might end up dating him instead?”

“Perhaps I’m just not okay with the fact you will be living with another guy. Did you ever think about that? I wouldn’t trust any guy to live with you, especially not Peter, who is probably crazy about you. Please, don’t do this.”

“Stop being ridiculous. Do you not trust me at all?” The guilty tightness in my throat is now gone. Now, all I feel is anger.

“I’m the one being ridiculous? Of course I trust you.” He lets out an exasperated sigh as he turns away from me, tugging on his hair. When he turns around to face me again, I can tell by his strained voice and watery eyes that he is fighting back tears. “I don’t understand why you would choose to move in with Peter rather than me. Did I do something to make you afraid of me?”

The words echo in my head and the guilt returns. “No. I’m sorry, I wish I could explain better but I can’t. I’m just…not ready yet. That’s all.”

“Tris, I’m confused. When you move in with me, I’m not going to be expecting anything. I just want you closer so that I know you’re safe. I can’t lose you again.”

“And I know that. Thank you. It’s just better for both of us if we hold off just a little bit longer.”

“I’ll sleep in Peter’s house with you until you’re ready. I’ve seen his house before, it has plenty of room.” Tobias states. “And I’ve talked to him a few times. He’s nice enough now that he’ll let me stay there.”

“No!” I immediately shout, a little louder than I meant to. “I…I need to do this on my own.”

“Really? Why am I getting the feeling there’s more going on here between you two? Whatever, do what you want, Tris, since you always know best.” He starts to turn away when I grab his arm.

“Look at me.” I demand. “Nothing is happening between Peter and I other than I’m not ready yet and he offered me a place to stay.”

“Don’t move in with him.” Tobias says as he tugs his arm free from my grip and walks back into the building to return to work.