My husband hates me

Chapter 16

The gentle wind blew over the small village of the Azamgarh, flowing from the mountains, to the rivers and the two mansions. She sat at the edge, her ankles submerged in the water. The cold air and the freedom along with the decorated haveli making her feel lighter than before, Saad's son was born. She saw him, cute tiny little fingers, eyes as grey as him and he had Ayesha's brown hair.

Months had passed but she still wondered what her kid would have looked like, but that thought would come to a halt. And she would shake her head bringing herself out of the zone. She had wanted to stay away from Ayesha but when Saad was gone, during her labour, there was no one. She had to console her, hold her hand during the labour. It was awkward. They weren't friends, they could never be, but still they enjoyed each other's company to an extent. It was better than the lonliness of the palace. Seher didn't open up, but she was bored and curious.

She sent Razia for help, but Razia refused to help Ayesha take a bath.

"Khan treats you like that because of Ayesha", Razia muttered under her breath, Seher called her over, "When a husband cheats, the other woman is blamed, when a husband beats his wife, the wife is blamed. What about the husband?"

Razia sighed and picked up the oil jar massaging Seher's scalp, "Men... we can't change their behaviour, we can't affect their thinking. We can only win their hearts".

There was a hint of sadness in her voice as Seher looked up her hazel eyes dim, "What about a woman's heart?"

"Who cares about a woman's heart in a man's world?" Razia said bitterly, as she finished braiding Seher's hair.

Seher felt a pang of sympathy for Razia, who was kicked out of her in laws house after her husband passed away. She wondered if Razia ever dreamed of a different life, one where she could be happy and free.

"I care about your heart, Razia. And I care about mine. We are not just objects for men to use and discard. We have feelings, we have hopes, we have dreams. We deserve respect and love." Seher said softly, as she hugged Razia.

Razia was touched by Seher's words, but she also felt hopeless. She knew that in their society, women had no voice, no choice, no rights. They were expected to obey their husbands, bear their children, and serve their families. They had no say in their own destiny.

"But you know that nothing will change. We are trapped in this cycle of pain and suffering. We have to accept our fate and make the best of it." Razia said, as she wiped a tear from her eye.

Seher shook her head. She refused to accept that this was the only way to live. She had seen glimpses of a different world, a world where women could be educated, independent, and empowered. A world where women could choose their own partners, pursue their own careers, and follow their own passions. A world where women could be happy.

She had seen this world, the opportunities and freedoms that women enjoyed there. She wished she could be like the old Seher, but she also feared the consequences. She knew that if her father ever found out about her secret interests, he would be furious. They would accuse her of being a disgrace, a rebel, a sinner. They would punish her, confine her, or worse, kill her.

She knew that she had to be careful, to hide her true self, to play the role of a dutiful wife. She knew that she had to endure Saad's neglect, his infidelity, his violence. She knew that she had to pretend to be happy, to smile, to laugh. She knew that she had to lie, to herself and to others.But she also knew that she couldn't do this forever. She knew that one day, she would have to make a choice. A choice between living a life of misery and living a life of freedom. A choice between staying and leaving. A choice between dying and living.