One Shots | Formula 1

CL☁︎

Better than letting go.- Inspired by Far, by SZA.

As I stood alone in the kitchen of the sprawling vacation house, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disconnection from the festivities outside. Laughter and music floated in through the open windows, mingling with the scent of sizzling barbecue. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, but for me, something felt off.

I glanced out the window at the scene unfolding on the patio. My friends were dancing and laughing, caught up in the carefree atmosphere of our summer getaway. But my gaze lingered on him – Charles. He was there, as always, his arm draped casually around his girlfriend's waist. To anyone else, they looked like the perfect couple, but I knew the truth.

My heart ached as I watched them together, knowing that I was just a secret on the side. Charles and I had been sneaking around for months, stealing moments whenever we could. But seeing him with her, in front of everyone, made me question everything.

I sighed and turned back to the kitchen counter, my fingers trembling as I reached for a water bottle. But instead of water, I poured in straight vodka, the clear liquid glinting in the harsh light. It was a desperate attempt to numb the ache in my chest, to drown out the conflicting emotions swirling inside me.

As I twisted the cap back on the bottle, I couldn't ignore the voice in my head telling me to put it down, to walk away from this toxic situation. But the pull of Charles was too strong, his presence like a magnet drawing me in, despite the pain it caused.

With a heavy sigh, I grabbed the bottle and made my way to the patio. The music grew louder as I stepped outside, the warm breeze ruffling my hair as I joined the throng of partygoers.

I forced a smile as I passed by my friends, pretending that everything was fine, that I was just like them – carefree and happy. But inside, I felt like I was crumbling, the weight of my secret threatening to crush me.

I found a quiet spot near the edge of the patio and leaned against the wall, taking a long sip from my bottle. The vodka burned as it slid down my throat, but it dulled the pain, if only for a moment.

I watched as Charles and his girlfriend danced together, their laughter echoing in the night air. And despite everything, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He was my weakness, my addiction, and I knew that as long as he was here, I would never be able to break free.

But for now, I pushed aside the guilt and the shame, and let myself get lost in the music and the alcohol, pretending that this vacation was everything I had hoped for. Deep down, I knew it was just a facade, a temporary escape from the tangled mess of my emotions. But in that moment, it was enough.

As Charles approached me, a bittersweet smile played on my lips. His easy charm and infectious laughter were like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds, but they also served as a painful reminder of what I could never truly have.

"Hey there, you seem a bit off," he said, his voice filled with genuine concern as he leaned against the railing beside me.

I forced a laugh, trying to shake off the heaviness in my chest. "Just tired from all the dancing," I lied, willing my voice to sound light and carefree.

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, how about I make you a cocktail? That'll put some pep in your step."

My heart clenched at his offer, knowing that he had no idea I had been drowning my sorrows in vodka. "Sure, that sounds great," I replied, forcing myself to maintain the charade.