daylight (jemily)

Chapter Eight

It had been a little over a month since JJ and Emily had Mia taken from them. The last time they'd seen her was a week before, when Emily had told Mary that they needed to stop meeting.

On Friday night JJ and Emily had both just got in from a long case. They were sitting on the couch eating takeout Chinese food.

JJ picked at her food with her chopsticks. "You should call Mary. See if we can meet tomorrow."

Emily took a deep breath. This wasn't the ideal time to do this. They were both tired from the case. But she couldn't keep putting it off anymore, she needed to tell JJ.

"JJ," Emily sighed. "We have to talk."

JJ frowned. Whatever Emily was going to say, it couldn't be good. "Why? About what?"

Emily tapped her fingers against her legs. "I talked to Mary last weekend. We both think that it's best if we take a break from meeting for now."

JJ dropped her chopsticks into the container. "What? Why would you do that?" She was starting to get upset and Emily could tell.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but it's the best option. It's impossible for you to move on like this. It's unhealthy," Emily told her.

"Who gave you the right to make that decision? And now you're making deals with the woman who stole our daughter? How could you do this?" JJ shouted, her hands shaking.

"This is exactly why, JJ," said Emily. "Listen to yourself. She's not our daughter anymore. You can hate me for it, and you can hate Mary. But that doesn't change the fact that it's true. I made a decision that I think is going to help you, even if you can't see it right now."

"I'm not insane. I can make decisions for myself. You can't just say things for me because you think it's best," JJ cried angrily.

"Think about Mia. This is best for her too. She needs to adjust to her new life. She needs to move on. She can't do that when she's seeing us every other weekend," Emily told her.

JJ was silent. She wanted to cry and scream and throw things into the window. But she didn't. She just sat there and stared at Emily.

"JJ," Emily said, taking her hand after a moment. She tried to snap her back into reality. "You want to go shower?"

JJ's breathing started to pick up. Her eyes darted around the room. "No, I need to sleep. I want to sleep," she said, looking down at her shaking hands.

Emily knew that JJ was panicking, and sleeping was usually the thing that helped her calm down. "Let's go upstairs, we can go to sleep," Emily told her.

"No, no, I need to sleep," JJ repeated. She was beginning to hyperventilate.

"It's okay, you can sleep. Come here." Emily pulled her closer, letting JJ's head rest on her shoulder.

"You can sleep right here," Emily said, rubbing her back. JJ's eyes shut and she began to murmur something to herself. She wasn't really sleeping, it was just how she was able to get herself under control.

Emily held her until she really did fall asleep. She didn't want to risk waking her up, so she just laid both of them down and fell asleep on the couch next to JJ.

___

Early Saturday morning JJ had moved into bed and was still sleeping. Emily got a text from Penelope asking if she wanted to meet for coffee, and she agreed.

She got ready and left JJ a note of where she was going in case she woke up.

It was around ten am when Emily got to the cafe and saw Penelope at a table waiting for her. Emily ordered a black coffee. She grabbed it and took a seat across from Penelope.

"Hey," she said, taking a sip of her coffee. Penelope looked her up and down. "You look tired," she said.

"Thanks," Emily chuckled. She was tired, and apparently it was obvious.

"So how's JJ?" Penelope asked. She'd seen JJ when she went into work, but they hardly ever talked anymore. JJ didn't really talk to anyone.

"She's okay. I told her we needed to take a break from seeing Mia. She was upset and then she just fell asleep. I knew she'd be mad, but I think it was the right thing to do. I'm running out of options," sighed Emily.

"You should try getting her a therapist. It would probably help if she talked about it," Penelope suggested.

JJ had started seeing a therapist after her abduction a year ago, but she had always complained about going. She never liked the idea in the first place.

"I don't know. She doesn't like talking about things with strangers. I would probably have to drag her in the door kicking and screaming, and I don't know how much good that would do." Emily shrugged.

"What about you? You can't just be completely fine after everything that happened," Penelope pointed out.

Emily took another sip of coffee. "I was upset, obviously. I was sad that Mia got taken from us. But JJ, she's just taking it harder than me. I like to think logically. Mia's living a happy life with her aunt. That's the only way I can sleep at night. JJ, she just can't do that."

"You're fine with not seeing Mia anymore?" Penelope asked. Emily pursed her lips. "I can deal with it. It helps to know that it's helping both of them. JJ's actually helping me, in a way. If she needs me to be there for her I know that I can't just fall apart. Life keeps on moving."

"It's good at least one of you can handle it," Penelope commented.

Emily felt slightly annoyed. Obviously Penelope didn't mean that in a bad way, but it seemed like an insult towards JJ. That was Emily's wife, after all. Nobody was allowed to talk down to her.

"It's not exactly like that," Emily added. "JJ's way stronger than I am. It's just after everything she's been through- it's hard on her."

Emily put her hands on the table and fiddled with her coffee cup. "JJ has been there for me more times than I can count. If she needs me to be there for her now, I'm happy to do that."

Penelope's voice turned softer. "Do you think she'll be okay?" she asked. "I mean, if you guys never get Mia back. Will she ever really recover?"

"I've counseled a lot of victims families. Losing a kid is no joke. I guess it's different because Mia's not dead, but the grief is still there. Some people are never able to move on," Penelope added.

"I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see," Emily said quietly. She hated that JJ was suffering, and she hated that she didn't know when it would end. "JJ's resilient. I think she'll be okay."