daylight (jemily)

Chapter Forty Five

JJ sat in the hospital bed playing peekaboo with Lyla while Emily sat in the chair and wrapped up some old case files.

"It's nearly eight thirty," JJ said, glancing down at her watch. "What if no one from social services comes today?"

"You know CPS, they're always crazy backed up. I bet she's just running late," Emily said. She gave a wave to Lyla, who was glaring at Emily for not giving her any attention.

"You're probably right," JJ nodded, going back to playing. She was worried about what would happen to her. She wanted Lyla to go to a good, loving home.

"Will you take her for a second? I have to go to the bathroom," JJ said, getting up. "Sure," Emily nodded.

Emily took the baby and JJ walked out of the room. Lyla giggled and kicked her feet, happy that Emily's attention was now fully on her. She took a handful of her long hair and began to chew on it.

"You can't eat my hair," Emily sighed. "JJ just fed you. Aren't you full already?"

She took the hair out of her mouth and pulled it into a ponytail. "You've got my wife wrapped around your little finger, you know that?" Emily smiled, bouncing her up and down on her knee.

Just then a woman walked into the room. She had dark brown hair up in a messy bun on top of her head. She looked like she could use a cup of coffee, or three.

"Are you agent Jareau?" she asked, stepping forward and shaking Emily's hand. "I'm Irene from social services."

"I'm agent Prentiss," Emily corrected her. "Agent Jareau's in the bathroom, she should be back in a minute."

"Alright," she nodded, looking down to the baby in Emily's lap. "I'm assuming this is-" She was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing.

"I'm so sorry, let me take this," she said, grabbing the phone and picking it up. She looked like she was listening intently to the person on the other end of the line, nodding her head in acknowledgement.

JJ walked back into the room and saw her, assuming that she was the lady from CPS. She felt a twinge of sadness hit her. She was here to take the baby.

"Okay, got it, thanks," Irene murmured, sounding slightly upset. She hung up the phone and turned around.

"You must be Agent Jareau, correct?" she asked, looking at her. "Yeah, you can call me JJ," she responded. "Is everything alright?"

Irene took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "We've been pretty behind at the office, per usual. Too many terrible parents, not enough good ones to take the kids," she sighed. "I've been looking for a placement for Lyla all afternoon. I thought I had one, but it just fell through."

JJ nodded, feeling her stomach turn. She knew that if no one would take the baby tonight, god knows where she'd end up. "So where's she going to go?" she asked.

"I can retry some of my emergency placement options for babies, but there's not many and it's unlikely they'll change their minds. If nothing comes up, she may stay another night here or go to a group home that accommodates children this young," Irene told them.

"A group home?" Emily asked. "Is that even safe for a baby?"

"We do our best to never place a child in an unsafe condition, the staff there will be trained to take care of her. This is all only temporary. Ideally, we'll find a loving family that'll take her in," she said.

JJ didn't like this at all. Even if the staff was trained, what about the other kids? What if someone hurt her? She was a defenseless infant, she shouldn't be put in a place like that.

"What if we took her home?" JJ suddenly asked. Emily and Irene both gave her a look. "I mean, just for a bit. Until you can find her a home. Like you said, it's all just temporary," she added.

They could both tell Irene was thinking. "It's not exactly that simple. There's qualifications, and a home check, there's so many hoops to jump through to become foster parents," she told them.

"We're already licensed foster parents," Emily mentioned. "We had a home study, background checks, everything. It's all still valid."

"We have a room too. For a baby. Clothes, diapers, bottles, everything," JJ said. Her heart sped up at the thought of her own baby. She hadn't had to say that out loud in a long time.

"You already have a baby at home?" Irene questioned, confused. "No," JJ shook her head. "I- I was pregnant. A baby girl. She passed away."

"I'm really sorry for your loss," Irene said sympathetically. "This is an unusual situation, but you're qualified to take her. If you want, I can make a few calls and she can go home with you."

JJ glanced to Emily, checking to see if she was even okay with it. JJ had blurted out the idea of taking the baby without asking her.

"Yeah, I don't see why not," Emily nodded. "It's just temporary."

"That's great!" Irene smiled. "I have a few calls to make, just some red tape to cut through. I'll be back in few minutes and everything should be good to go." She grabbed her phone and stepped out of the room.

JJ sat down next to Emily. "Are you really okay with this? I'm sorry, I kind of put you in a bad situation there," she said.

"I think it's good," Emily told her. "Lyla needs a home, and we have one to give her. Nothing I wouldn't be fine with," she chuckled, leaning over and kissing JJ's cheek.

As she did, Lyla reached up and grabbed the neck of JJ's shirt in her fist. "Looks like she misses you," Emily laughed, handing the baby back to JJ.

JJ cradled her, staring at her beautiful little face. With everything going on, her mind kept flashing back to the last time she held a baby.

JJ laid in her hospital bed. Everything ached and she still couldn't speak. It was the middle of the night now, she'd just woken up for the second time since the attack.

She tried to pull herself up a little when Emily walked in the door. She had a blanket in her arms, holding a small bundle. She walked over to JJ's bed. "Are you sure you're ready to see her?" Emily asked. She was concerned that it would all be too much for her.

JJ nodded impatiently. Emily helped her sit up a bit more, and then placed the baby in her arms. JJ nearly stopped breathing when she saw her.

The baby was so small. She had tiny fingers and toes. JJ brushed her fingers over her little face. Her lips, her nose, her shut eyes.

The nurses had put her in a diaper and a beanie the size of a thimble. She felt so light and so cold as JJ held her.

Tears were streaming down her face as she just sat there. Emily sat behind her, supporting her so she could even sit up properly. She gently rubbed her back, but knew there wasn't much that she could do to comfort her.

JJ felt so much rage inside her. It wasn't fair that her baby was dead. It wasn't fair that she couldn't even speak. This was the only time she'd ever get to hold her, and she couldn't even tell her that she loved her.

Almost as if Emily could really read her mind, she began to whisper softly in her ear. "She knows you love her. It's okay that you can't say it. She knows."