Love Must Come to an End Right?// Josh Dun

February 8th 2021 pt2

Josh's POV:

Amelia was going dress shopping today so I was going to be alone with Isaac all day. This is going to be interesting. I've never been alone with a baby this small before.

Amelia and I were sitting at the table eating breakfast. Isaac was sitting in his high chair, oblivious to the everything. She was tapping away at her phone with a nervous expression on her face.

"Babe are you sure you'll be ok with Isaac" She asked breaking the silence

"Are you questioning my ability to be alone with our son" I asked some what offended

"I'm just nervous, this will be the first time I've been away from him in a month" She sighed shaking her head

"Babe go out and find the perfect dress ok. Isaac and I will be fine right Ice" I smiled

"Steve's here." She sighed

"Alright. I love you" I smiled kissing her

"Love you too" She smiled

"Bye mommy" I said shaking Isaac's little fist

She left with a large smile on her face. Making her smile was my goal every single day of our relationship. Seeing her scared or sad made me feel like I was failing. I couldn't fail not now as I have become a father and soon to be a husband.

I know that Amelia's biggest fear is that I'll walk out like her farther did. I never would do that. Isaac needed a father and I wanted to be his father. Along with making her happy, reassuring her that I'm here to stay is my top priority. No matter how hard she tries to push me out of her head, I will never give up on fighting my way in.

Crying broke me out of my thought. I was thankful for that. I know that if I didn't get broken out of it, I would end up panicking.

"Hey buddy, are you hungry" I asked picking him out of the high chair

"Not this time" I said plugging my nose.

"Wow Ice all you eat is milk" I said laying him down on the changing table

Obviously not understanding a word I was saying he smiled.

"You may not have any teeth but you have your moms smile" I smiled tickling his stomach.

He let out a little giggle followed by nonsense words.

I picked him up and carried him into the living room and laid him across his play mat. He laid there looking 100% confused. I laid down with him and began hitting the little toys hanging down.

"See you hit them and the bells make noise and this little elephant makes a crinkly noise" I smiled

He smiled and tried to reach the elephant.

I got up from the floor and up onto the couch. I turned on the tv while keeping an eye on Isaac. Starting to get bored with the T.v I grabbed my laptop and laid on the floor with Isaac.

"Want to call uncle Ty" I asked with a smile

I got onto the laptop and opened up Skype.

"Salutations Ty Guy" I cheered when his face appeared on the screen.

"What's up Dog Breathe" he grinned

"Laying with Ice" I smiled

"Your first day alone right"

"Ya, it's kind of boring he doesn't do much" I shrugged

"Have you adopted baby talk" Tyler laughed

"I'm trying my hardest but I don't think he likes my real voice"

"Babe can you grab some chips" I heard Jenna call

Isaac began fussing causing me to sigh.

"Hey Ty I better let you go Ice Man in fussing" I said

"Ok talk to you later dude" he grinned

"Bye Uncle Ty" I said picking up Isaac.

I closed down the laptop and started pacing the room with Isaac on my hip. I bounced up and down handing him his elephant. I started cooing and singing hoping to calm him down.

"Come on Ice, daddy doesn't like seeing you cry" I said tickling his stomach

After many ideas being thrown out the window, I got him his bottle. Finally he calmed down and fell asleep after burping. I laid him down into his crib. Taking a deep breathe I closed the door and laid down in the living room.

Being a parent is hard. I must have tried 30 different things to calm him down. I was completely exhausted.

Isaac began whining not long after I had closed my eyes. I got up yet again and put him in is swing next to the couch. He then decided to play "let's make daddy get up" by throwing his binkie.

"Seriously Isaac" I said glaring at him

Finally Amelia came home with her usual award winning smile.

"Hey Isaac mommy's home" I smiled

Amelia and I talk for a while about the stressfulness of our new parenthood. Isaac was a struggle but I guess it's worth it all in the end. He was adorable, when he wasn't crying.

He had my squinty eyes but with Amelia's beautiful hazel color. He had the cutest little nose that Amelia was so adamant about it looking like mine. He was so small but was growing everyday. I'm so excited to see what he turns out to be and who he will be.

I soon fell asleep with thoughts of the future with the small, crazy family I have come to be apart of.

As the usual night routine goes, Amelia and I switch off waking with Isaac. Thankfully it was Amelia's night but I was still woken up with the screams of our son. It's scary waking up to the sound of your son screaming from down the hall. Every time I hear it I go into panic mode thinking the worst, even though I know that it's his call for attention.

Being a new parent may be the scariest thing I've ever done. You are so excited and nervous going into it but you don't know the outcome. You try your hardest not to fuck up and to be there for them every step of the way. Isaac still may be young but I worry everyday that I'll fail him, and be the worst dad ever. I worry that one day I'll screw up and he will hate me. I worry that I won't be a good enough husband for Amelia and that she'd leave me.

I'm trying so hard to hold up the walls I've built inside my head, so I won't come undone and to stay as strong as I can for Amelia and Isaac. They mean the absolute world to me. I can't let my guard down, I can't let Amelia know that I am scared. It would only trigger her to think I've given up and that's one think I don't do.

I won't give up.

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A/N

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed.

It actually took me a while to write this. The deep thoughts from Josh will come across a lot in this story. I really want to get deeper into this story and not so fluffy and happy as the last two.

I actually think like this when I think about the future and it scares the shit out of me.

Q- How do you feel about Josh's thoughts?

-izzy