A Lovers Revenge

Chapter Thirty-One

Isabelle's POV (Point of view) - This is from a girls view of her life...in case of confusion XD 

Saddness, that is was my life consisted of. Constant reminders of the pain I inflicted on so many people, this wasn't supposed to happen, it was all going wrong. Before I could stop myself , I did it. I hurt the one i loved and I'm now paying for the consequences. I didn't need to be hit or abused, my conscious was punishment enough. I couldn't sleep at night, the tiresome days became my life, my mother didn't bother...she knew I was going to college so she didn't have to put up with me for much longer, didn't she know I did it all for her? To save her precious reputation? I gave up. No point in trying to mold myself into a "perfect" daughter when all I was was a disappointment. I threw away the one thing I had going for me...I lay flowers on his grave, tears streaming down my face. Unable to come up with an explanation, I walked away...promising him I'd make him proud of me, do something with my life. I kissed his tombstone, my hand brushing against the engravement "In loving memory of Zac Stone, a son, a fiancé and a brother to many - RIP"

Three years later...

"It's time" John, my uncle said as he gave me my suitcase and watched as I walked towards the terminal.

This was it. A new start. No more living in the past, I promised him. I have to keep it, even if it's the last thing I do.
I spent the last three years in a shell, all clammed up and enclosed. I became quiet, unable to comprehend anything or anyone. My mother yelled at me everyday, threatening to throw me out if I didn't get over it. I missed two years of college, I couldn't face anyone so I volunteered to help children in need and the elderly at the community centre, doing good things helped me concentrate on something other than myself which is what I want to do. I wasn't sure how to start with myself, what to fix first? I had to change myself for the better and this was my first step. A day before I decided to move I went to the local church (which I've been attending for a long while) and sat in the confession box. I froze, unable to speak...I cried and cried. Letting it all out, the cries could be heard a mile away. After what seemed like a lifetime I came out, my eyes bloodied and red.

Sister Beth sat staring at me when I appeared out the booth.
She patted the empty space next to her, indicating I join her.
I hesitated before agreeing, not sure what to say to her. She turned to face me before speaking.

"I know what happened with you. Stop torturing youself, some things just can't be changed and it's up to us to accept it" she spoke softly.
I sat in silence, absorbing her words.
"But Sister...I don't deserve to be happy" I whispered.
"You can't sit in the past, your eyes dear say many things...they're literally begging for mercy, a night where you can sleep in peace without the voices in your head growing at an unsteady pace"
I nodded in agreement.
"I just don't know how to forget"
"You will never forget...but you will learn to accept and move on"
"But how?!" I somewhat yelled.
"Raising your voice infront of the lord won't help for sure, but changing yourself for the better might"
"I volunteer at the centre, help the elderly, the young children and still I find no peace".
" you're holding onto something, and that something is what's keeping you tied down to the past".

I fidgeted, feeling uncomfortable. My mind boggled, unsure of how to proceed with life let alone this conversation.

"I'm going to tell you a story" she spoke, "I know a girl who grew up troubled, she did unimaginable things and till date hasn't forgotten her actions. One day she was with her boyfriend, whom she thought she loved very much and would do anything for and vice versa, she took a knife upon request of her boyfriend and bought it to the park where a group of boys dragged a battered black and blue boy. She was scared, frightened for her life, her boyfriend asked her for the knife and when she didn't respond he squeezed her arm...hard. It hurt, the pain mind numbing. She took the knife out and slowly handed it to him, she stepped back whilst her boyfriend stepped towards the battered boy and bent down to his level. The other boys holding down the injured one, grunts and gasps filled the park followed by a loud yell. The knife was given back to the girl, only 16 at the time and the knife was dripping red with blood. Her boyfriend kissed her, telling her he was proud of her work. She shook her head in disgust, wanting nothing to do with him. She approached the limp body, lifted his arm and tears automatically ran down her face. No pulse. She reached for her mobile and dialed for the ambulance, by the time she turned around she was alone, her boyfriend fled the scene with his mates".