Inside of The Zanzibar fortress, the Reds and Blues were still trapped inside as the bomb was still going off as it was now counting down from 2 minutes now.
Grif: Hoh, just two minutes left.
Sarge: Men, I don't want this to sound pessimistic, but I'm absolutely certain we're all gonna die!
Steve: How come every time we come close to death, it's because of a bomb?!
Grif: We'll never know Steve, we'll never know.
Simmons: Sarge, I think that that's a totally objective assessment of the situation, sir.
Tucker: What if we just beat on these window shutters together? We can get 'em open. *slashing his energy sword on the shutters*
Sarge: No, that would be the coward's way out. Fruitlessly trying to escape instead of accepting your own fate!
Tucker: But I can see daylight!
He said as he stood on it.
Sarge: It's true. Only a miracle can save us now.
Freya: Sarge do you want to die or something?
Back into the past with the computer and Church who know had a long white beard on him that went down to his tibet. The computer though had many typos and lower cases in it's speech.
Computer: teleporter complete. slightly behind schedule.
Church: You know, it might have gone a bit faster if you hadn't spent so much processor time telling knock-knock jokes.
Computer: knock knock.
Church: Enough. Do you have the coordinates to send me to Blood Gulch or not?
Computer: yes. do you have a plan yet?
Church: I've been standing in this hallway thinking for a thousand years. I've had time.
Computer: and?
Church: Well, the main thing I need to do, is keep myself from dying.
Computer: thats a given.
Church: And since all our problems stem from O'Malley jumpin' from Tex to Caboose, all I need to do is prevent her from dying too.
Computer: because you secretly love her.
Church: Oh don't start that again. All I need to do is kill that pink guy that sticks the grenade on her.
Computer: sounds easy.
Church: Well, I have knowledge of everything that takes place beforehand, so, as long as I don't interfere too much, or get spotted, should be a frigging breeze.
Computer: ready to transport.
Church: Okay, let's do it. Goodbye... computer. Compu- you know what, you'd think I would have come up with a name for you in these thousand years.
Computer: it's gary. But thanks for asking, see you in a few hundred years.
And with that, the old Church was teleported away to Blood Gulch. But just right after he left, a different Church with no beard came running up to the same spot.
Church: Computer, you've got to send me back!
Gary: to blood gulch? you just left.
Church: No no no not to Blood Gulch, to Sidewinder! Man I totally screwed everything up!
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Red Vs Blue And The Corporal Season 3
FanfictionThe Reds and the Blues continue on their perilous adventure to stop the evil AI O'Malley, somehow their journey gets ever more chaotic and yet hilarious as somehow they end up in the future in their pursuit. All characters and rights go to Roosterte...