Ep 12: Silver Linings

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Inside of The Zanzibar fortress, the Reds and Blues were still trapped inside as the bomb was still going off as it was now counting down from 2 minutes now.

Grif: Hoh, just two minutes left.

Sarge: Men, I don't want this to sound pessimistic, but I'm absolutely certain we're all gonna die!

Steve: How come every time we come close to death, it's because of a bomb?! 

Grif: We'll never know Steve, we'll never know. 

Simmons: Sarge, I think that that's a totally objective assessment of the situation, sir.

Tucker: What if we just beat on these window shutters together? We can get 'em open. *slashing his energy sword on the shutters*

Sarge: No, that would be the coward's way out. Fruitlessly trying to escape instead of accepting your own fate!

Tucker: But I can see daylight!

He said as he stood on it.

Sarge: It's true. Only a miracle can save us now.

Freya: Sarge do you want to die or something?

Back into the past with the computer and Church who know had a long white beard on him that went down to his tibet. The computer though had many typos and lower cases in it's speech.

Computer: teleporter complete. slightly behind schedule.

Church: You know, it might have gone a bit faster if you hadn't spent so much processor time telling knock-knock jokes.

Computer: knock knock.

Church: Enough. Do you have the coordinates to send me to Blood Gulch or not?

Computer: yes. do you have a plan yet?

Church: I've been standing in this hallway thinking for a thousand years. I've had time.

Computer: and?

Church: Well, the main thing I need to do, is keep myself from dying.

Computer:  thats a given.

Church: And since all our problems stem from O'Malley jumpin' from Tex to Caboose, all I need to do is prevent her from dying too.

Computer: because you secretly love her.

Church: Oh don't start that again. All I need to do is kill that pink guy that sticks the grenade on her.

Computer: sounds easy.

Church: Well, I have knowledge of everything that takes place beforehand, so, as long as I don't interfere too much, or get spotted, should be a frigging breeze.

Computer: ready to transport.

Church: Okay, let's do it. Goodbye... computer. Compu- you know what, you'd think I would have come up with a name for you in these thousand years.

Computer: it's gary. But thanks for asking, see you in a few hundred years.

And with that, the old Church was teleported away to Blood Gulch. But just right after he left, a different Church with no beard came running up to the same spot.

Church: Computer, you've got to send me back!

Gary: to blood gulch? you just left.

Church: No no no not to Blood Gulch, to Sidewinder! Man I totally screwed everything up!

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