Belsize Park || Kate & Leo

☆ Seven ☆

It’s 1.a.m. Insomnia is hitting me like a truck tonight. Lying here without you, even over a year on, is really hard. I look over to the window, which is cracked slightly open, and look down into the road. No one is about. No one ever is at this time.

I remember back in Mexico our late night walks. Only the stars and the sea could hear us, because they were the only things around whilst everyone else slept. Of course, we should have been sleeping too, it’s probably why we were so tired all the time. But our midnight until 2.a.m escapades were always fun. I close my eyes and remember.

The soft Mexican moonlight rippled on the dark waves, meeting the indigo sky which was dappled with speckled stars. It was like being inside a dream or something. You ran in front of me, still holding my hand, and twirled back around, your red wavy hair cascading around us. You glowed in the soft light that, and every, evening. Your lips curled into a smile as we ran across the beach together, twirling and dancing through the night like there was no tomorrow.

Your eyes sparkled, and I just melted into them, drowning like a hopeless little boy in love. I felt my cheeks heat up, despite the coolness of the night, and I bit my lip. I never knew what love was until I met you.

“Look at the stars.” I whispered, turning to look at a cluster of stars that had gathered together.
“They’re so bright and beautiful.” You whisper back. I look down to you, melting even more. I wanted to just take you in my arms, kiss you and confess to you right there and then. I was so in love with you. I still am.

“They are.” I chew the inside of my lip, feeling my eyes fill with tears. Love can sometimes feel like your heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces. Being in love with you blended mine.

You cup my face with your cold hands, your ocean blue eyes flickering across my face. I do the same until I know every detail there is to know. Every line, every flicker of shadow, every dapple of light. I know the rosiness in your cheeks as if it is my own.

“Kate.” I whisper, watching you lower your eyes to my lips, and lean in closer
“Hm?”
“You’re not here.”
“I’m not?”
“No.”

You hang your head, and take your hands away from my face. I turn my eyes back to the water, watching as it creeps towards us like a royal indigo blanket coming to take us away. It pools around your feet, and you stand still, unnervingly calm, as your white summer dress drifts around your legs. You go further and further out to sea, until I can only see your hand being submerged. Your face becomes paler than the chalky moonlight, as you drift helplessly, yet so calmly away.

I blink, ridding the thought from my mind, but you come back.

“So where am I?”

I tilt my head and start back towards the trailers, leaving you standing on the golden sands of the beach.

“You’re in the stars now.” I mumble to myself. You stand there, defeated. Your summer dress is miraculously dry, your shoulders slumping, and your red hair now cascading down. I hear you sigh and turn to take one last look at you.

“Goodbye, sweetheart.”

The clock reads 4:20.a.m. now. The sky will be awake in about an hour, but the day is beginning to creep in with soft blue hues that look like they have been swirled into place with your brushes. Have you been out painting again? I sit up, and swing my legs out of bed, rubbing my hand down my face. I’ve not slept tonight, I don’t care though. I got to see you.

I scribble a note on a scrap piece of lined paper, and leave it on the table in the living room, in case I am out for longer than I intend to be, or in case the kids wake up early.