Belsize Park || Kate & Leo

☆ Eighteen ☆

So I turned eighteen 🥳🎂 and finally tried rosé to see if it was good, and it tastes like straight-up nail polish remover, and is DEFINITELY better with lemonade, so that is what Mia will be drinking. Also, there are only two more chapters left, so i hope you enjoy. ❤️

***

You and Idris ran towards each other, meeting at the corner, and you launched yourself into his arms, sobbing quietly. Then the screen cuts to black, and we all look around at each other. We have all watched this film many times, and Idris has been around for a watch party, but it never hit this hard. Seeing you nearly die in a film, seeing you so lifeless after falling into ice, brought back unwelcome memories. I kind of wish we had watched Bear Grylls after to lighten the mood. Bear loves quoting you on there, thinking that the prank you pulled with the worm was hilarious. “Classic mummy,” he said. He finds it hilarious that he’s called Bear, and so is Bear Grylls, though he’s not really. He’s called Edward. But we never told him that.
Popcorn bowls are scattered around us, with just the kernels left, and a few of the chocolate chips Joe threw in that sunk to the bottom, forgotten. Mia has finished her rosé and lemonade spritzer, I’ve finished my apple cider, and the boys have finished their coca cola. For once, during the film, and not during the adverts before it, though to be fair, we are at home, not in a cinema.
I push myself from the back of the sofa, and sit up straight, feeling my back crack in about a million places. I think of you and how you would have teased me relentlessly about it, saying I am old, even though you were only a year and a month younger than me. It’s crazy to think that when we finished Titanic, you were 21, and I had just turned 22, and now I’m 46 and you’re still 44. We will never share the same age again.
“So… The Mountain Between Us. Thoughts?” Joe asks, chewing on a piece of popcorn, and spitting out the kernel.
“Not my favourite film of mum’s but I still love it.” Mia nods, tipping her head back and trying desperately to find a last drop of rosé. It doesn’t happen, and she sullenly puts the glass back on the table.
“Which is your favourite?” I ask. “Oh, and you can’t say Titanic!”
She chuckles. “No, I quite liked Eternal Sunshine. It took me ages to get my head around it, but I read mum’s notes and I got it. It’s a great film.”
“Mine is probably … Revolutionary road. It’s sad, and sometimes… It's weird watching your mum do sex scenes, especially with your dad, but the soundtrack is brilliant, and the director is awesome.”
“Who, Sam?” I ask. Sam Mendes directed Revolutionary road, and all the time seemed to like you. Like, really like you. I told you many times how uncomfortable it made me feel, but you always reassured me that you didn’t like him at all, and you felt the same way as me about him.
“Yeah he did Jarhead and 1917.”
“Oh. Never seen them.”

Because I only really watch your films.

“Beary, what’s yours?”
“I like Flushed Away because it’s like story time. She does great voices!”
“She did, didn't she?”
“Did she voice the slugs, daddy?”
“No. Just Rita.”
“They should have casted her as all the slugs too,” his hand drifts to his mouth and he giggles. “That would have been really funny.”
“It would have been.” Mia agrees, a faltering smile forming on her lips. “We should talk about things like this more.”
“Yes we should.” I agree, nodding solemnly. “I think that trip was good, but we definitely need to keep talking about your mom, even outside of Vancouver.”
When we were on holiday, we talked so much about you. About our favourite memories, I told mommy stories to all of them over hot chocolates and mini marshmallows, we listened to music you loved, watched films you loved in the evenings, and went to places you had been to. But you didn’t live in Vancouver. You lived in Belsize Park in London. Your spirit, your soul, and your heart is here, and we need to keep them alive here. Because you’re gone, but never forgotten. 
“How about we share our favourite funny stories?” Bear asks.
“That sounds fun. Who wants to start?”
Joe smiles, and stands up in front of us, grabbing his locket, and toying with it as he looks up to the ceiling and begins to recount his story. “I remember mum bought me on set of The Dressmaker, and she thought Jocelyn was getting suspicious of her after the sherbert lemons kept disappearing.”
“What happened to them?” Bear asks.
“Judy told mum to steal them, and she did but one day she brought me in to steal a handful, and she shared them with Judy behind the craft.”
“Joe!” I exclaim. I shouldn’t tell him off, he was only eleven and he was an adorable eleven year old. “How many times did she make you do that?”
“Only once.”
“Why weren’t me and Bear invited?” Mia scrunches up her nose, and cocks her head.
“You would’ve been caught and told off, and Bear was barely a year old. Plus, no one wants to tell an eleven year old off. Not when their mum is the lead actress, and has an adorable son like me.” He places his hand under his chin, cocking his head and grinning as he sits down, and Mia jumps up.
“We went to Hyde Park once. Mum drove us. It should have taken us 20 minutes to get there, but there was a traffic jam, so it took us nearly an hour. Me and Joe were so bored that she picked us up, and carried us both almost a mile to the park.”
“What, she just left the car in the middle of the road? Why don’t I remember this?”
“You were three. Yeah she did, and when we had to go back, there were police there and she had to explain that she had two grumpy children, was running off a single coffee, and had no patience. They fined her about two hundred quid, I think, for reckless abandonment.”
“Reckless?”
“I mean she did leave it in the middle of the road, dad.”
“Fair. Bear, do you have a story?”
“Yes!” He runs in front of us and does this strange jumping spin before recounting his story. “Mummy took me canoeing when I was five, and my oar caught a fish, and it flopped in our boat! Mummy tried to scoop it out but its tail hit her in the face. It was so funny!” Our raucous laughter filled the air as Bear sat on my lap, laughing hysterically. “Daddy, do you have a mummy story?”
“I do. Remember we were talking about Sam earlier?” The kids nod, and a grin plasters itself on my face, making my cheeks ache. “Well when we were filming Rev Road, we were eating some chocolate, and it spilled all down my chin. It was this horrific cherry flavour. Who puts cherry in chocolate? It’s so strange! Anyway, um, we got back onto set and your mom didn’t stop laughing at me, and everytime Sam said action she burst out laughing, which made me laugh too.”
“What did Sam say about it?” Joe asks, laughing.
“He wasn’t happy. He said that we needed to take it seriously, or they’d find someone else to play Frank or April. He ended up putting a tape cross on the wall for your mom to look at, and I had to look at her ear, so we didn’t laugh.”
By the time I tuck Bear into bed, and kiss him goodnight, we have all cried from hysterical laughter. My chest feels a lot lighter than it did two weeks ago, as if I've lifted a giant weight off my chest.
         When I said goodnight to Mia, she was really happy. She was listening to the La La Land soundtrack, and reading one of her own books. Finally something happier than what she had been listening to for almost a year, and finally she was taking a break from reading Revolutionary Road.
            I say goodnight to Joe, and smile as I see that his keyboard has been unplugged and your rings are sitting proudly on a shelf. He says he doesn’t need to play it anymore, that he’s a lot happier playing music for us than away from us. His door creaks closed slowly behind me, and I pad softly towards Baby Bear’s room. He’s not a baby anymore. He’s a big boy. Seven years old now. He tells anyone that, holding up seven fingers, and flashing a toothy grin. I kiss his head, remembering how I did it the first time you moved him into my arms when you had to sign his birth certificate. Mia and Joe sat on the end of the bed, grinning tearfully, waiting patiently to hold their baby brother.

Mother’s name: Kate Elizabeth Winslet – DiCaprio
Father’s name: Leonardo Wilhelm DiCaprio

You pressed a kiss into my stubbly chin then, tears gathered in your eyes as we looked down at our son, and across to Mia and Joe, grinning as we wrote the name that would complete our family one final time.

Child's name: Bear Blaze Winslet – DiCaprio.

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. Bound together by twenty four years of friendship, twenty one years of marriage, and three beautiful, incredible, talented, creative, witty, children. Bound together by a sinking ship, and ice, and a suffocating house in Connecticut.
       Kate, our home may be in Belsize park, but we were always home to each other. You're still home to me.