Barba's Secret Family(SVU story)

Chapter 28

I needed air. I dropped the oldest kids off with Rafael's mom. I just needed time to think. I want to be a good mother but I am so stressed. I only had kids before, but now I have four. I don't think I can do this. I need help. Rafael is always working though. What do I do? I sighed.
"Courtney?" I jumped as I heard my name.
"Oh hi Olivia. Are you working?"
"No, um Noah and I were actually just taking a walk."
"Oh," I said as I looked at the boys.
"Why don't you join us?" Olivia said.
"I don't want you to impose." I said.
"It's okay. Besides it looks like you need a friend, and it will give me time with my god sons." Olivia said. I nodded and got up, unlocked the stroller to walk with Olivia.
"I appreciate everything you have done. I mean with my ex and all." I said
"I know. Now tell me what's on your mind." Olivia said.
"I just feel so down. I mean I'm tired, I just feel like a bad mother." I said.
"You listen to me. You are not a bad mother! These two little ones and even your older ones. You are doing a terrific job at raising them. You and Rafael are wonderful parents."
"Am I still a good mother if my mental heath hasn't been that great though?" I said.
"Of course. You just need to find an outlet, whether it be talking to someone or taking a walk, do something for yourself, things will get better. I promise. Besides being a mother is stressful I know. But remember why you get up everyday. It's for them and your older two." Olivia said and hugged me.
"Thank you."
"Anytime."
"Would it be okay, if we, maybe even Rollins, once in a while set up a play date or me and you just grab a coffee or something and talk." I asked.
"Of course."
"Shall we grab lunch or something?" I asked.
"We would love that." Olivia. Noah, the youngest twins and I then went to grab a bite. Maybe things were going to be okay.