Incorrect Quotes and Shenanigans ft ICT

The Uninvites From the Hypothetical Wedding

Remember the description of the book guys and do not question ToT. The number of dumb drafts I have written and it is getting increasingly crazier with each draft. Presenting to you: Rahul is in love and his friends are entirely unhelpful.

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Rahul, trying to come to terms with his feelings, turns to the people who know him the best: Guys?

Sourav: Yeah?

Rahul: I need to talk to you something.

Anil, looking up at his serious and nervous tone: What is it?

Rahul, takes a deep breath, the reaction to what he was about to say was sure to be something: I think I'm in love

Sourav without blinking: With which book? Is it that new one by Christopher Paolini?

Rahul, thrown off his groove: It's- What? No! What the hell are you talking about?

Sachin: Oh you meant like a person? Is it an author?

Rahul: NO! It's not an author either! It's-

Sourav groaning: Oh Lord, please don't tell it's Steve Waugh again. I do not deserve to have an aussie as my in-law-

Rahul, very close to tearing his hair out: I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH STEVE WAUGH!

Sourav side eyeing the hell out of him: Could've fooled me with the heart eyes you get around him.

Rahul:

Rahul: If I get married, you are not invited.

Sourav:

Sourav: Is it because I hate your aussi-

Rahul: I AM NOT MARRYING STEVE WAUGH-

Sourav: Sheesh, Okay. We believe you. No need to scream.

Laxman: Anyway, Rahul, you were saying?

Rahul: Right, so there is this girl-

Sachin: Wait, this is about girls?

Rahul: ...Who else will it be about?

Anil: YOU are talking about girls?

Rahul: ... yes?

Anil:

Anil: Couldn't you have come to me like six months ago? I already built a room for your old age in my house! Could've saved me some damn money!

Rahul, rubbing his forehead: ...You made an old age room for me in your house?

Anil, shrugging: We all have a Rahul room in our house. I think Sourav has a wing actually.

Sourav: Two wings. One for him, one for his endless books.

Rahul: ...

Rahul: That's so offensive of all of you on so many levels. But okay. Moving on. *Takes a deep breath* There is this girl. And I think I am in love with her. *Fidgets nervously* What-what should I do?

Anil, sarcastically: Oh gee. Lemme think. I am in love with this girl, whatever in the world am I going to do about it?

Sachin, in a high pitched voice supposedly mimicking Rahul: Oh my god, I am in love. The horror. What should I do?

Rahul: 

Rahul: Okay, you two are uninvited too. Laxi-

Sachin, sitting up suddenly: Wait are you actually in love? Like in love in love with an actual real person?

Rahul: Ye-

Sachin jumping up: HOLY SHIT. Ohhh I need to call your mother, she is going to cry.

Rahul: ... You have talked to my mother about this?

Laxman nodding, helping Sachin look for the phone: Oh yeah. We were all worried.

Rahul: ... You aren't married either, why the hell were you talking to my mother?

Laxman, shrugging: Yeah but I atleast hope to get married. You jump like a frightened squirrel if a girl so much as touches you.

Rahul:

Rahul: I never thought I would be saying this Laxi, but you are also uninvited from my wedding-

Sachin, snorting: If it happens.

Rahul, offended: What do you mean if it happens? Ofcourse it will happen.

Sourav: Have you told the girl yet?

Rahul: Well, no bu-

Anil, snorting and lying back down: At this rate, the only in-law we are getting is that fucking aussie.

Rahul:

Rahul: All of you are horrible people and you will never be invited to my wedding-

Sachin: If it happen-

Rahul: IT WILL HAPPEN-

Sourav: To Steve Waugh-

Rahul: You are dead to me.