Part 1: How to Not Use the Kitchen- A guide by ICT

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Or alternatively titled- why I don't take them anywhere by MS Dhoni

Jaddu: It's not that I go about setting fires!

Jaddu: It is just that things catch fire around me!

Jaddu: That's correlation! Not causation!

Rohit: IT IS LITERALLY CAUSATION, THE CABINET IS ON FIRE AND YOU ARE LITERALLY HOLDING A BOX MATCHES.

Jaddu: I WANTED TO CHECK IF THERE ARE SPRINKLERS IN THIS KITCHEN!

Virat rushing over from the sink with a jug full of water: GUYS CAN WE ARGUE ABOUT THIS LATER?! THE KITCHEN DOES NOT INFACT HAVE SPRINKLERS AND I CANNOT GET ARRESTED AGAIN THIS MONT-

Rohit whipping around: YOU GOT ARRESTED?!

Virat: ROHIT THE ROOM IS ON FUCKING FIRE, PRIORITIES!-

Jaddu shaking his head as he too fetches a jug: God this team is a fucking nightmare-

Virat and Rohit: YOU LITERALLY SET THE ROOM ON FIRE!

Jaddu: I did not say I wasn't a part of it- WHY IS IT NOT GOING DOWN?!

Rohit sobbing, clutching his hair: I can't deal with this alone! I need an adult-

Virat slipping and sliding in his slippers as he rushes about panicked, on the water he has only thrown: YOU ARE AN ADULT!

Rohit, pulling his hair: I NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT!

*Momentary silence and freezing of all activity as the trio stares at each other while the flames rage on*

All three screaming: MAHI BHAI!!!!!

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Bonus:

Mahi, lying with his eyes closed in his room, quietly chanting: I am not even here, this is all fake, I don't even exist, it's all a manipulation of my min-

Rohit throwing the door open: MAHI BHAI VIRAT CAUGHT FIRE!

Mahi, trying hard not to move:

Mahi, failing: for fucks sake

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Sorry for the content vomit. Having a bad day

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