Iris ↠ l.h.

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive...

Unhappiness is such a sad thing.

The only word to describe unhappiness is the word itself.

It's also quite contagious.

Normally, to my knowledge, people say happiness is contagious.

But that's not really the case.

For example, when a person is blissful and is around a person who is discouraged the person that is discouraged doesn't just smile and feel good because the person they're near is that way. In reality, they probably get annoyed that the person is so happy. The outcome is actually vise versa. The person who was once blissful feels like they're being overbearing. Putting a damper on their mood.

So really, the unhappy person stays unhappy. The happy person becomes unhappy.

And this is how Luke knew Iris was unhappy.

Because, as in said example, Luke was the blissful person whereas Iris was the discouraged one.

Yet, that never changed the way Luke felt about her.

Luke's realized that he is in love with her.

He would do anything for her.

But sometimes, he had to stop and just wonder:

Would she ever do the same for him?

Sadly, Luke believed the answer to be yes.

What made it sad was that he was wrong.

Because Iris didn't know how she felt about Luke.

She didn't really feel anything.

The only thing she actually did feel was emotionally detached.

And not only did she feel detached from her emotions but from everyone and everything.

She just wanted to feel something.

And that, is how she found herself sitting in the bathroom of her house, using her sharp paintbrush against the canvas called her skin, using only the color red.

It wasn't a picture taken from a camera, but it was a painting, made with her very own hands.

The tears slowly rolled down her cheeks as she stopped the blade and threw it into the sink, quickly turning on the water and letting the razor sit.

She wasn't trying to kill herself. She just wanted to bleed to know she was alive.

But the outcome was a depressing one. Because she didn't feel alive.

She still felt nothing.

So the one and only thought that came to her mind: maybe I'm better off as nothing.

She then turned and found a first aid kit, placing gauze on the cuts and using adhesive tape to keep it in place.

This all felt somewhat familiar to her, reminding her of the time Luke took care of her.

The time Luke kissed her.

Nothing.

She couldn't feel a thing from a memory that would've given anyone butterflies.

She got to school ten minutes early and saw Luke sitting on the bench out front, smoking.

"You really should try to quit," she said, taking a seat next to him as she pulled the sleeves down on her hoodie.

He turned and looked at her, dropping the cigarette on the concrete floor and stepping on it. "That was my last one."

"Yeah, right," she smiled, rolling her eyes.

"I love hearing your voice," he said, looking out at the road.

Iris smiled again, leaning her head against Luke's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

He could never get enough.

Because deep down, in the darkest part of his brain, the place where only the darkest thoughts belonged, he knew that this cloud 9 feeling will slowly condense then precipitate. Leaving both Iris and Luke as little balls of ice that slowly fall off their cloud turning into liquid then evaporating back into their nothingness, as they both began.

"Luke?"

"We don't have to talk about it, Iris," he said, looking down at the sidewalk.

"I just don't thin-"

"We don't have to talk about it, Iris, please," Luke said, desperation in his voice.

Because he knew as soon as they'd talk about it things were going to end. He just wanted to make things last a little longer. Luke already knew that as soon as high schools ends they end.

But Iris knew something Luke didn't it, it was that maybe things might end a little sooner than when high school ends.

Because the feeling of feeling nothing is a pain that just isn't livable.

Iris checked the time, noticing how buses and some students were beginning to arrive, noticing that it was almost time for home room.

"Iris, hold on," Luke called out, scratching the back of his neck. "I know things have been really really fucking hard on you and I get it and it's understandable to be isolating everyone, well me, and it's understandable to be sad and upset but I love you and I care about you. Just...just don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"

Iris nodded, walking into the school with only one thought on her mind.

This is something he would do.

In fact, he's tried it once before.