I look at him, waiting for a reply
"I ehm..." he says overwhelmed by the question and my heart sinks as he cant give me an answer instantly "Im not sure... my contract has strict rules when it come to publicity" he tells me, my mood instantly drops but I still try and cover it up
"Oh... so we'd have to sneak around?" I ask him and he nods
"Only for a while, once the FIA is open to such relationships"
"Okay..." I say with disappointment in my voice
"But you'd be able to join me around the world and after and before races and events we'd have time for just the two of us" he says with excitement placing his hand on mine but I pull away
"I..." I say
"Whats wrong? Did I say anything wrong?" He worries
"No you haven't you have been nothing but perfect" I till him
"But? It sounds like theres a but coming"
"Ive been sneaking around with my ex all the time and I don't want that life anymore" I tell him creating a silence between is
"I could care about you all I want, but I still don't want to hide the fact that we got something"
"I get that but that's not how it works in my career" Max tells me
"I know and I'm sorry but I just don't think I can do this hiding anymore" I say and get up from my stool "I think I should go... im sorry about this" I say out of it
"You don't need to apologise Dylan, you deserve to be happy" Max says and follow me to the hallway "I will take you home"
"Max, no you already prepared this while evening and I ruined it, i will just call an uber" I say
"Just let me do this, you didn't ruin anything because we both didn't know what to expect from tonight or from each other
"Stop making this so hard Max" I say while desperately trying to put on my shoes accidentally pulling a tight knot into them which I struggle to open "I'm just so stupid, expecting way to much" I mumble, suddenly feeling a tear if stress run down my face
"Dylan, calm down" Max says worried
"I'm calm, I just need to get this knot out of my laces" my voice breaks
"Dylan" Max says serious and takes me shoe away from me and I look at him, his face seems worried and calm "this can't just be because of us what is going on?" He asks me
"Im just so tired of hiding, I had this exact conversation so often with Theo and I just want someone who loves me enough to-" i say, close to hyperventilating but my sentence gets interrupted by the Dutch mans lips pressed against mine, gently yet filled with a lot of emotions.
Max' warm hands holding my face, his thumbs softly stroking my cheeks, before I feel his arms wander down wrapped around me as he pulls me in closer and I can't to help but kiss him back which doesn't last long before he pulls away
"I... Wha..." I stutter out of breath not knowing how to react
"I'm so sorry, I just acted" Max apologises, his voice having the sound of regret to it
"Max... I like you and I really care about you but this just isn't gonna work..." I tell him which feels like a knife stabbing my heart
"I know... I hope you find what you are looking for Dylan... Someone will love you endlessly... because I do" he admits "can we just forget tonight and stay friends?"
"Max... I... I'll need some time. I don't know if I can handle all this" I say and Max hands me my shoe back, the knots gone
"I'll call you an Uber" he says
