Her eyes

Chapter 35

It was late evening and I was sitting in my couch staring blankly out the windowed walls, Layla hadn't come to class today, she hadn't answered any of my calls or texts and I was getting worried. Or rather I had been worried since I left her apartment last night.

I was feeling helpless, do I give her more space or do I go check on her? Out of all of the drawings I'd seen yesterday one had especially been at the forefront of my mind. A child's hand holding a bloody razor. I had studied every inch of her enough times to that it was her hands. I hadn't seen any self inflicted wounds on her, perhaps she had just thought about it enough times to draw it? Now I was scared she had maybe hurt herself.

That was the deciding factor, I would rather she hate me for all of eternity than something happening to her. I grabbed my keys and headed to her place, it was maybe a 15minute drive, and during those short minutes that felt like forever my mind was coming up with reasons for why she hadn't picked up the phone. All of them bad.

When I got to her place I knocked softly, no answer. My stomach dropped even further, I took a deep breath and placed my shaking hand on the doorknob preparing myself for what I might see and twisted it.

The door opened slowly and the first thing I saw was Layla laying with her back to me her knees tucked towards her chest. She still gave no reaction that she'd heard me and a picture of her cold lifeless body flashed behind my eyes.

I ran towards her and dropped to my knees, "Layla?" I pulled her body so that I could see her face. Her body was warm and she was alive, I gave a quick thank you to whoever was listening.

"Layla? Please answer me baby." I shook her head a little and her far away eyes seemed to be coming back to the present.

"Archer?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she focused on me, like she hadn't heard me come in.

I breathed out in relief, "Lay-"

"What are you doing here?" She started to rise to lean on her elbows,I helped her and heard her joints crack.

"I was so worried, you didn't answer any of my calls and you didn't come to class. I-I thought something might've happened." I stroked her cheek tenderly, she removed it slowly looking down at her lap.
I wanted to cry, she looked so exhausted like she had ran laps in her mind for days without any reprieve. This was my fault. I shouldn't have looked at her drawings.

"Baby talk to me, please." I was begging her still on my knees, I would be willing to do anything to switch places with her and take her pain.

She shook her head once, "You called." she stated sniffling her face scrunching up with emotion.

"Where have you been?" I asked I asked confused.

"I don't know." She gasped in a breath and rubbed her face with her hands.

"Tell me what you need," I felt hopeless I didn't know what to do right now.

"I just need you," she let out a heart wrenching sob.

I rose sitting beside her on the bed before pulling her into my lap, she buried her face in my neck and sobbed. Each cry a cut to my heart, I rubbed her back and made soothing noises kissing her temple.

"It's going to be okay." However, I didn't know if I was lying to myself or to her. I didn't know what was going on and worst of all I didn't know how to fix it.