Broadcast (Radioapple/Appleradio)

- Chapter 38: Thoughts -

!!Mentions of su1c1d3 att3mpts, S3lf h@rm, and abuse!!

(Very sorry for this chapter children and pookies this was requested 😔)
Also there's both Lucifer and Alastor angst

It was a beautiful day in Hell. The skies, like always, were a magnificent shade of scarlet red. The hotel felt lively. Charlie was overjoyed for some reason, Vaggie was with the wedding planner, helping out for the wedding which was in two months. Husk and Angel were out on a date to Lulu's lovers side. Cherry had gone out on a small walk, and Alastor was broadcasting. Everything was so peaceful, a perfect day.

Lucifer could be found in his room, making a duck, an Alastor duck, while listening to his broadcast. He had multiple of these, and he had a beautiful reason to. Him and Alastor had been dating for almost 2 months now. As their anniversary arrive, he planned his gift for his significant other, his strawberry pimp lover. He was planning on gifting him a Lucifer and Alastor duck, a new radio for his collection, and, as disgusting as it sounds, some actual fingers. Rosie told him that fingers were Alastor's favorite snack, so he bought her some.

As he was finishing the Alastor duck, some rather disturbing thoughts crossed his mind. What if he actually did it back then? The word repeated various times inside of Lucifer's head. Suicide. The first time he tried this was after the Lilith left him. Back then, suicide wasn't really something people were conscious about, and what did Lucifer had to loose back then? He had created sin, and was hated for it. He had taken a blade up to his neck, and slit it, immediately falling to the floor, passing out. Later that same day he woke up, wondering how he was still alive. He touched his neck, and remembered that any wound he gets heals pretty quickly, not letting him die. He remembered how his Father had made him immortal. Few years later he tried again, drowning himself. He couldn't bring himself to do it, so he took his head out of the water, giving up. His 3rd attempt, involved pills. Yes, he though these would work, he was certain, but Asmodeus and Bee came in the room. They wanted to surprise Lucifer with a visit, that visit turning into a therapy session.

These horrible memories still haunted him, even after years. Sometimes, if he wasn't making a duck, we would take a blade and harm himself, trying to forget about every thing else, though he didn't do this much, and eventually stop. Making ducks helped him through all of this, it was his way to forget about the real world, to not hear the voices, the very tempting voices.

Now that he was remembering this, what would have happened if Charlie never visited him that faithful day?.. (Chapter 32) He had taking some pills that slowed his healing magic down that day, and with a blade in hand, he held it up to his neck. He was 100% this could have worked, this would have killed him, as his healing magic would take ages to heal him, letting him loss enough blood to actually stay there, on the floor, dead. If only Charlie hadn't come, he would have been dead. He and Alastor would have never happened, nothing would have happened. He wondered if Charlie ever heard the sound of the blade falling?...

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Alastor just finished his broadcast, boredom taking over. He thought of visiting Lucifer, but he remembered how Lucifer told him not to enter his room for now, since he was doing something important and couldn't be disturb. He decided to just hear what ever he was doing through his radio. He picked up the cane and pressed the eye, now being able to hear everything through Lucifer's radio, but what he heard worried him. Soft sobs could be heard, and some muffled cursed words.

Alastor felt as if something was wrong. Not caring if Lucifer wanted him there or not, he submerged into the shadows and emerged from them, now in Lucifer's room. He saw the king with his head down on his desk, a pile of duck on the desk, next to a small blade. He could only think that the blade was to shape the ducks, since he has seen him do that before. He walked toward his lover, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. The king looked up to see the red demon with a soft expression on his face. The king had tear stained cheeks, and a runny nose. Alastor made a small towel appear on his face, and used it to wipe the kings tears and snot away.