4. Friends dinner

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Kara pov

I'm hurrying through the city, flying between buildings as i had realised the time. Or rather, Winn in my ear had realised the time. It's friends dinner night. But of course there had been a burning building that needed taking care of first.

I fly in through my window just in time for a knock on my door. Speeding through my room, i put on a pair of jeans and a simple top. All to look pretty without anyone realising that i've made myself look pretty. All for her.

Another knock comes through the apartment, but before i can get to the door to unlock it. Someone unlocks it from outside. And just in time for me to reach the door, they all come inside. Lena, Alex, Maggie, Winn and James. And Y/n of course, the one who unlocked the door.

The first one to pull me into a hug is Y/n, even though she was the last one through the door. The smell of her is breathtaking, how her form matching into mine. But she doesn't hug me for long as she pulls away and holds me at arms length with a worried look in her eyes.

"Why does your hair smell like fire?" She brings her fingers up to my hair, still let out from before.

"Oh, i... i..." First i look to my sister for an answer, but she just leaves me for myself. "I burned the lasagna, it sort of began to burn."

"Kara..." Her voice is soft and i feel how they all watch us from around the room.

"So, if you burned the lasagna, what are we eating?" James asks, leaning against the table already with a beer in hand.

"I ran out for some pizza." But even as i answer him, Y/n doesn't stop looking at me. As if she's looking for any type of harm done to me. It's things like this too that makes me feel like things aren't one-sided, even with her reluctance to dating.

"Then how about we eat." Alex says as she and Maggie bring the pizzas to the table. And i have to reluctantly bring myself out of her embrace, taking her with me to the table.

🌼🌼🌼

I'm putting away the dishes while the others have moved to the couch and begun to play some boardgame. But then Lena comes and helps me.

"Thanks." I say, even though i sort of don't like it when we're more than one person in the kitchen. Even if we're just cleaning up afterwards.

"Of course." She answers, but instead of continuing in silence which would usually happen when we clean up from dinner. "Can i ask you a question?"

"Sure, what's up?" We both stop as she readies for her question.

"It's about Y/n." And i suck in my breath as i know where this question is going. In the beginning it had come from Winn, then James, and Alex. I guess it's only expected.

"You mean my feelings for her?" It's not like they're a secret, not really anyways. She nods and i glance towards Y/n where she is standing by the table, stacking plates on each other and putting away the leftover pizza slices in lunch boxes to be put in the freezer. "She knows about them, if that's what your asking."

"I know, i asked her about it when we had dinner a few nights ago."

"So what's the question?"

"Isn't it painful to walk around loving someone you can't have?"

"Sometimes, like that morning." We both know which morning i'm talking about. "But i respect her wishes not to date. I know it's not me she has anything again, it's the thought of having her heart be vulnerable."

"But still."

"I know she loves me, and that is all i could wish for." I end the conversation fast as i notice Y/n coming over to us with the last of the dishes.

"What are we talking about?" She smiles as she puts the plates in the dishwasher.

"Nothing special." Lena says before walking off to the others who have begun to play Monopoly.

"What's up with her?" Y/n asks, looking first after Lena and then at me.

"She was asking about... eh, us." I hesitate at the wording, feeling the tug on my heart.

"Oh, i'm sorry. I asked her not to talk to you about that." She looks at me as if she knows exactly how it makes me feel to know that i can never kiss her whenever our faces are close, that i can never trace the outline of her body with my hands when we lay together on my bed. That i will never be able to kiss away the tears on her cheeks when her nightmares pull her out of sleep.

"It's okay." I begin to move my hand to place it on her arm, but stop myself before i can. "Lets go play with the others."

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