Game Over

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Atty. Serrano—I mean Lance—did ask me out. He did as he told me before. We went to dinner. We talked about work for a bit... until he asked me if I wanted to go out with him. Medyo natawa ako nung nagtanong siya kasi para bang business proposal iyong sinabi niya. He was very formal about it—kulang na lang ay bigyan niya ako ng pros at cons list. At kagaya din ng sinabi ko kay Alisha, pumayag ako.

I knew that Lance liked me.

He liked me more than I liked him.

Mas okay siguro iyong ganito na mas gusto ako nung lalaki. Because I'd been on the other side. I tried how it felt nung mas ako iyong may gusto, nung ako iyong mas baliw, nung ako iyong mas willing ibigay iyong lahat para sa kanya.

Nakaka-ubos.

Perhaps it's wrong... but I just wanted to know how it feels to be on the receiving end of things.

Na paano kung ako naman iyong mas gusto?

"What?" tanong ko kay Pam nang naka-tingin pa rin siya sa akin after kong iabot sa kanya iyong draft na hinihingi niya sa 'kin.

"Talagang nagde-date kayo ni Atty. Serrano?"

I nodded. "Yeah, why?" I asked.

It did feel nice—not being hidden. I could just clearly say yes kapag may nagtanong sa akin. I didn't have to do some mental gymnastics or try to justify kung ano ba talaga iyong meron.

"Wala lang... Sabi kasi nila nagde-date kayo pero kapag nakikita ko kayo dito sa office, parang normal naman."

I slightly tilted my head to the side. "I mean... did you expect us to make out here?" I asked.

Bahagyang nanlaki iyong mga mata niya. "H-hindi naman ganon!"

Natawa ako. "No, I was just kidding," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "Work is work," I added. "Besides, kilala mo naman si Atty. Serrano," I added and she nodded in agreement. Kapag nasa trabaho, seryoso talaga si Lance.

Siguro nga talaga mas maganda kung kilala mo muna iyong tao kahit papano bago ka pumasok sa kung anumang relasyon. At least with Lance, I was already well-aware na may pagka-workaholic siya. Hindi na ako nagugulat o sumasama ang loob. Hindi na rin ako parang tanga na naghihintay kung kailan siya magtetext.

This wasn't boring—maybe this is how a mature relationship feels like.

Wala nung... adrenaline.

Basta kalmado lang.

It's a bit different from before, pero masasanay din ako.

* * *

"I'll probably leave early," sabi ko kay Lance nung papunta na kami sa may hotel kung saan gaganapin 'yung IBP dinner.

Napa-tingin siya sa akin saglit habang nagda-drive. "Why?" he asked.

"Madami akong gagawin bukas," I told him. "I'll just book a ride," I continued since he insisted na sabay kaming dadating doon kahit sinabi ko na magdadala na lang ako ng sarili kong sasakyan.

"Okay," he replied. "I have to introduce you to some people. Can you stay for a while hanggang mapa-kilala kita sa kanila?"

"Yes, of course," I replied tapos ay sinandal ko muna iyong ulo ko at pinikit ang mga mata ko. I had been working non-stop with Atty. Arnaez. Sabi kasi ni Lance, kung hindi talaga ako interesado sa Corpo, might as well train under Atty. Arnaez. Malaki din daw kasi iyong pera sa arbitration. I mean, it's okay... Hanggang ngayon, 'di ko pa rin talaga alam kung ano ang gusto ko.