Game Over

Chapter 57

Chapter 57

"I am good," I had to tell Lui. He was holding me tightly... like he knew for sure that I'd go attack Iñigo like some mad woman. I could—I definitely could. It would probably feel nice... but I would never do that. Nothing good would ever result from that.

'Trabaho lang,' I kept on reminding myself.

Besides, being a woman, they'd probably call me unstable kapag ginawa ko 'yon. I wouldn't give them any ammunition they could use against me.

Tahimik kaming naglakad palabas ng korte ni Lui. We were surrounded by our security, but for some reason, there was this nagging voice inside me... I kept on looking around. What was I even waiting for? Na hulihin si Lui ng mga pulis? Because of what? The questions Iñigo presented during the cross-examination?

Ramdam ko iyong panonood ni Lui sa akin habang nasa loob kami ng sasakyan. Naka-tingin lang ako sa mga tao sa labas. May mga media doon; may mga nagwewelga. This was the news of the month—or maybe I was just being too hopeful and generous. Baka sa isang linggo lang ay malimutan na rin nila 'to. Kasi may bago na namang balita.

Sometimes, I wish the general public's attention wasn't so fickle.

But I guess that's a way to cope.

Baka sabay-sabay tayong mamatay sa depression kung iisipin natin lahat ng problema at masamang mga bagay na nangyayari sa mundo.

Hanggang makarating kami sa condo ay wala pa ring nagsasalita. But I knew that Lui wanted to talk to me—or to at least say something... pero ramdam din niya na ayokong makipag-usap.

"Tali," he called when we were finally inside the unit.

I didn't ignore him—I just chose to walk towards the ref and get myself a glass of water. I needed a drink. Biglang nagbago ang isip ko at saka kumuha ako ng baso at inilabas iyong bote ng whiskey na naka-tago sa may cabinet. I tried to stop drinking—but it was probably stupid. The nature of my job and the stress that came with it was forcing me to drink.

"Gusto mo?" I asked Lui because he was still watching me.

"The cross went fine," he said as if he was reassuring me.

Instead of replying, I downed the glass of whiskey. Ramdam ko iyong init niya sa lalamunan ko. Only if the effect were instant. I needed to forget. Even for just a fucking minute. I needed to rest my mind because all the possibilities swirling inside my head was making my head spin.

"You did well," he said. He walked towards me. He got the glass from my hand that I didn't even realize I was gripping tightly. "You did great, Tali," he continued. His voice was so gentle like I was some fragile figurine that he needed to be gentle with.

"Can we please not, Lui?"

I knew I fucked up.

We both knew that this would happen, but as it was happening, only then did I feel the gravity of the situation.

Madadamay si Lui.

Idadamay nila si Lui.

And... I was letting him.

Was it worth it?

Getting what I wanted?

But losing who I needed?

"No," he said. "We already wasted a lot of time not talking—we're talking. Now. We're talking now."

I looked at him.

I felt my chest tightening.

I felt my eyes blurring.

He was here right in front of me, but it felt like I was slowly losing grip of him.