Deviants Fallen: A DBH Story

Chapter 48: Contrived

Gradually, Clara settled into an easy rhythm with Cain. A few days after the initial surgery, she was able to walk normally, though her endurance left something to be desired. It only took a few minutes of light exertion before she was weak and out of breath, and then he'd sit her down again and monitor her. He'd brought her yarn and crochet hooks to occupy her, saying it's something she used to enjoy. To her surprise, she found that her fingers knew what to do, even though she couldn't remember learning it. It was difficult at first with the prosthetic, and even though it responded to her thoughts like any other limb, its fine motor movements were not quite as dexterous as she was used to. Cain said she'd adapt to it with time, and meanwhile, crocheting was a good way to calibrate the limb.

When she wasn't crocheting or walking around the small bedroom, she was usually asleep. Though sometimes she'd wake up and find herself alone, which is when her thoughts would begin to encroach. She still had a persistent feeling of urgency, like she should be somewhere else, like there was something she needed to do, but no matter how she focused on it, she couldn't remember what was causing the feeling. Anytime she brought it up with Cain, he'd dismiss it and tell her it was just a side effect of the memory loss.

"You belong right here, with me," he'd say, "that way I can protect you. I'm the only one you can trust."

And she had no choice but to believe that. She couldn't remember anyone else. The only other people she'd met were Amy and Hollister. One tried to help her, and the other had tried to kill her. Clara thought about Amy often, wishing she could talk to her again, but anytime she brought her up to Cain, he'd evade her questions. Clara had begun to doubt he'd even gone back for the android at all. But that would mean he lied. And if he'd lied about that, what else was he keeping from her? How did she know she could trust him at all?

Clara abandoned the line of thinking, turning back to her yarn and hook. She knew if she continued down that path, she'd drive herself crazy. Cain had been good to her since he'd gotten her out of that lab. He took care of her. There was no one else she could trust. Without him, she'd be alone. She had nothing. No memories, no resources, no sense of who she was to guide her. Nothing at all.

As she worked through the same thoughts that had been plaguing her since waking up, she looked down at the small blanket she'd been working on, sighing heavily. She set the hook down and leaned back in her chair. She was bored. Cain had been gone for a few hours, longer than usual, so she'd been left to entertain herself. Aside from the crochet, she had books, but she'd already read most of those, and the ones left didn't interest her. He'd instructed her not to move around too much while he was gone, citing his worry for her heart. He was concerned she might hurt herself and have no one around to help her. She supposed it was a legitimate fear, but it still felt contrived.

Clara considered for a moment, idly twirling a strand of yarn around the index finger of her prosthetic hand. She hadn't really tried walking without Cain around to monitor her, but she couldn't stand doing nothing anymore. A restless energy surged beneath her skin, chafing against the idleness of the last week or so. After a few more moments of back and forth, she deliberately set the blanket aside then carefully stood.

Her initial first step threw here a little off balance, but she quickly recovered. She hadn't had enough time walking to adapt fully to the unfamiliar weight of her prosthetic leg. Cain usually made her sit back down as soon as her heartrate began to accelerate. But he wasn't around to stop her this time.