Where Dreams Lay

[fourteen]

[fourteen] "It's alright to cry. Even my dad does sometimes. So don't wipe your eyes. Tears remind you you're alive  –Ed Sheeran

Margret tells me this quickly so I don't hear it properly.

"I'm sorry what?" I ask, hoping I heard wrong.

"Paris, I'm so sorry. But a very close member of my family—who you know lives in London, England—has passed away, and as much as I want to stay here with you, because I know you need someone . . . I can't."

"What do you mean, though?" I ask, "When's your flight?"

"I've been here for almost fifteen years, since I was nineteen, and I was due to go back if I didn't settle well," she pauses, not moving around anymore, "I was supposed to return home a week ago, but I extended my stay because of your parents, because I know you need someone."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I question quietly.

She hesitates, "I-I wanted to, but how could I after your father passed and needed someone to help care for the kids?" She sighs, playing with her fingers, "My flight is rescheduled for Sunday at eleven in the morning."

I stay silent for a moment . . . how could this be happening? Margret can't leave. I need her. Casey and Joey and Luke need her. How am I supposed to figure this out on my own? It could be weeks until anything comes back about Mom. It could be longer, and I have to have someone I trust to tell me everything's okay. Otherwise . . .I'll convince myself it won't be.

"Paris, honey," she says, gently stroking my arm, "I really am truly sorry this happened. It's just bad timing I guess . . . but I know you can handle this." I look up at her. She has teary eyes, and is defiantly someone worth missing. "I also know that you are a strong person, no matter what others tell you. Please, for me, don't give up on your mother. Or your brothers and sister. They need you more then they need me."

"But I still need you," I whisper, feeling yet another round of tears welling up in my eyes.

She sighs apologetically and pulls me into a hug. I hold her close, remembering what it feels like to have someone taken out of your life. She hugs me tightly for a good minute, then releases, keeping her hands on my shoulders.

"You can do this. Remember that movie Casey made us all watch? What was it called . . . oh I don't remember. This is just part of growing up. A little adventure, a little rebellion—"

I laugh and wipe my cheek, "That's from Disney's Tangled, Margret."

"Yes! That's what that movie was called." She smiles, and then continues, "Anyway, remember that line. I have faith in you, Paris. I really do. So don't let me down. Or your father."

I nod, and take a step back. She's right. Disney's right too actually. I just hope tomorrow the sun will shine a bit brighter then it has been.

* * *

Margret stays with us for a few more hours. After we go pick up Luke, Casey and Joey, she helps me prepare dinner, but doesn't eat with us. I thank her for doing so, and seeing how happy she makes them three feel, breaks my heart because I know they are unaware of the near future when it comes to Margret staying with us. She tells me that packing needs to be done, so I let her leave and continue to do my homework, with Luke by my side. I have to stop working every ten minutes or so to help him with Math, because of troubles in such a subject. He takes after Dad for that, which makes sense to why it's Mom that usually helps him.

As per me . . . I try not to think about today. It's been tough to deal with, but in a way, I kind of feel different. With the changes made in my life, I've seemed to discover a diverse part of me that I've never seen or felt before. It's weird because the feeling is so new . . . I don't exactly know what to do with it.