Where Dreams Lay

[twenty nine]

[twenty nine] "so wake me up when it's all over. when I'm wiser and i'm older. all this time I was finding myself and i didn't know I was lost." -Avicii 

"Well would you look what we have here. You know, a part of me wants to let you go, but another part says, 'hold her up for a little longer' I wonder what side I should listen to . . ."

Tears prickle in my eyes, so I close them. This can't be happening. "What do you want?" I croak out, barely hearable.

"Nothing right now," he says, turning his back to me. The gun is pointed away from my head and I let out the breath I've been holding. "But that doesn't mean you're free to leave."

He starts walking away, and before he escapes into the darkness, I scream out, "Where are you going?"

He turns his head slightly so only half of his face is shown, "To the hospital. Something tells me I'm needed there."

He continues walking, and the sound of a door being closed echoes in my ears.

I open my mouth to scream, but duck tape gets plastered over it. My eyes widen when I notice that it was Jace who put it there.

Ugh, asshole.

* * *

It feels like I've been stuck here for days—no—weeks even. I gave up with struggling about half an hour ago, but who am I kidding . . . there's no way of telling time here. My mind is going crazy since there's nothing else to think about. All that goes through it, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, is the fact that this could be it.

This might be the end.

There's no way to telling if and when I'll be getting out of this chair. The two men are still standing on each of my two sides, not daring to move an inch. Literally. I've been seriously watching them because guess what, they were kind enough to let me keep my eyesight.

A while ago I probably would've been crying my eyes out. A while ago I probably would've been broken down into so many pieces, they'd be impossible to put back together. Ha. Not anymore world.

For some reason, I don't feel worthless. I don't feel like a little kid with no say, or a small piece of flesh that can be kicked around. The feeling scares me—but also wakes me up to the point where fright isn't allowed to take over.

Courage is.

Since staring into nothing got boring, my thoughts still wander. They go from rewinding that night, to rewinding the kiss. I find myself mentally smiling and patting my back when the sharp memory of talking back to Lindsay comes back.

And he saw it. He defended me.

Damn . . . I'm really falling for Aiden Banks. Hard.

The funny part is that I think he's fallen for me too. A while ago I would've thought he was a jerk who doesn't give a damn about girls unless their chest and ass is huge.

Gosh, how wrong was I.

What's killing me is how terrible I was. How I misunderstood him in a way I will forever remember. I judged him as a bad boy with no heart. I thought he was a guy who hung out with others who only wanted one thing.

That one thing sends chills down my spine.

His personality was hidden—that's what I've realized. Maybe it's because I haven't paid much attention, or maybe it's because he does it on purpose. People like that are the ones you have to look out for. On the outside they're one person, but if you dig a little deeper, someone completely different may be hiding. Someone worth caring for.

Yesterday I walked around the halls with my head held higher then it's ever been held. And when I looked at the people surrounding me, I had mixed feelings. Some scanned my body, then made a face. Some didn't even glance my way. Some smiled as I made slight eye contact.

What I finally realize right now, is that I was utterly wrong. Since grade nine, I've always thought I was the most broken, the smallest, and the weakest person in school. I assumed everyone was perfect and I was a wreck no one would even say hi to. All through those long three years, I was being judged.

Little did I know, I was actually the one judging.

When I said what I said to Lindsay, a crowd appeared. They were there to witness someone like me stand up to someone like her. It sickens me how stereotypes shape our world and people use them without even knowing.

I was the nerd. She was the pretty cheerleader. I was the one being bullied. She was the bully—that's how it works now. Those cliché moments were what I thought was happening.

Jace is sitting in a chair a good six feet in front of me. His nose is in that phone, and some dark hairs are falling out of place. He's the bad boy girl's want. That's his cover up. No one knows about this secret side of him.

I'm the loser girl who has no 'besties' and no boyfriend. That's my cover up. No body knows about my family and how (if my mother dies), I won't be able to have custody of my siblings. Perhaps no one would even find out that I wouldn't have a family anymore.

Lindsay is the popular hot girl all guys seem to want, (except Aiden). That's hers. Not one person knows her back-story—not even me. She's hiding something deep down because I know for a fact, that someone as mean as her has a reason for being that way. One day she'll break free of that shell that's shielding her true personality. Maybe I won't be able to see it, or maybe I'll be the one to do it.

I don't try to break free, because it only makes it worse. Struggling is useless. Instead I do what everyone does best in this society—put a fake face on and hope it's believable.

I may be scared, but that doesn't mean I'll let that fear stop me. Whatever comes my way will better have to take a step back, because I'm ready.

I'm done with those labels of me being weak.

No more labels for this badass. 

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Lyric video-Wake me up by Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc