Where Dreams Lay

[sixteen]

[sixteen] "can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now." -B . O. B ft. Hayley Williams

I end up cooking penne pasta with butter for Luke, Casey and Joey. Dinner was mom's favourite part of the day because she would come home and go through recipe books until she found a "must try" dish for supper. Dad would tease her saying she might as well open up a bakery or restaurant, but her answer would always be that she'd rather cook for the people she loved, then strangers who will come and go.

Sometimes I would cook with her. Sometimes, she would through her extra apron at me and smile, which was her way of telling me to get the ingredients ready.

I loved helping her when the day went well. But after some time passed and things at school had gotten worse, my nights were spent in my room, and occasionally going down for more then just dinner. Now that I might never have a chance to cook with her again, I regret every doubt I had about doing it.

"Where's my dinner?" I hear Joey call from behind me. I'm currently facing the stove and allowing the creamy butter to melt in the pasta. It's not the most creative thing to make, but if they eat it, I'm satisfied with my cooking.

"It's coming, don't bite yourself," I say, turning my head slightly to see his little body sitting in our big kitchen chairs.

"Why would I do that? I'd rather have pasta like mom would make," he reply's.

I turn around carrying two bowls of food and place it in front of him, and then call Casey and Luke to the table.

Luke comes first and sits in his usual spot, followed by Casey, who's buttoning her pants as she walks.

I look at her with a confused look, "What?" she asks, and a few seconds later she continues, "I just came back from the bathroom, guys, stop looking at me weirdly!"

"Don't worry about it, Case, come and eat." I say and place her bowl on the table.

She sits down and starts to gobble like she hasn't eaten in ages. I eat mine quietly and watch the three of them argue over who's going to finish faster. Joey's face is shiny, covered in butter and so is Luke's-even if he's the older one. I may think I'm alone . . . but in reality, these kids will be by my side everyday. And that's what makes me smile for real, for the first time in a while.

As I tuck Casey in for bed, she doesn't close her eyes and drift off immediately. Her eyes are wide open and I ask her, "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, but I was wondering something,"

"Okay, then you can ask me,"

She ponders, looking like she's unsure of her question, "What's heaven?"

The first thing that pops in my head as she asks me this is where she would here that word. "Where did you hear about that?" I voice my thoughts.

She shrugs, "Just thought about it,"

I sit on the side of her bed and push her bangs back, so I can see her eyes clearly, "Well heaven is a place where people go when they . . . well when they want to say goodbye."

"What do you mean?" she looks confused and I bite my bottom, lip, not sure how to explain this to her.

"Casey sometimes God wants someone to join him, they leave us and . . . even if you never see them again, you need to remember that they are always in our hearts."

"You mean he wants people to join him up there?" she points upward when saying this.

I giggle lightly, "Yes, up there."