Where Dreams Lay

[twenty six]

[twenty six] "I don't blame you for being you. But you can't blame me for hating it." -Fall out boy

Sleep was out of the question.

Last night I couldn't stop thinking about what the near future would be. Just when I thought I had things under control, she does this to me. A picture. And not just any old one, the photo was from that day I was at my worst state. I believed that the plan would work. I was wrong, and now I'm paying the consequences.

I spent the night roaming the house in my bunny slippers and smurfette tee shirt. After putting the kids in bed, I rolled across my mattress like crazy and decided to just give up. There was no point in trying to fall asleep when nightmares would eventually wake me up.

That's another thing: dreams. They go from replaying that night over and over again, to remembering times in my life where both mom and dad were present. My body's awoken from nightmares a few times in the last two weeks. My heart would be racing and it just felt so real. So much that I thought I was going through those moments all over again—

Like that moment when my father died. When my sister came running up to me, crying and pleading for help. When mom was there with me, and I felt as though everything would turn out fine, but once again, I was mistaken.

Since yesterday was another sleepless night, I'm exhausted when I open the doors to enter my school at five minutes to class. To my surprise, the bell rings right as I start to walk past the foyer. This damn watch, it never has the right time!

I start to run fast. My feet travel up the stairs and through the hallway to homeroom.

My shoulder bumps into something—actually, someone—and he stops me, grabbing my wrist.

"Not so fast."

I see that it's Liam. Annoyed, I groan and roll my eyes, "Look, I really need to go, okay?"
A smirk spreads across that apparently gorgeous face, "Yeah, I don't think so."

"Liam, seriously. Let me go!" I try to break free of his hold. No luck.

"I just wanted to tell you something."

"Then tell me. Fast."

"Watch out for Lindsay." With that, he smiles once again, and turns around in the other direction.

I ignore his warning, because I honestly don't want to think about that right now. Just in time, I walk into Mrs. Tuck's class, and take a seat in the middle row.

Mrs. Tuck looks like she's about to start, but then two more people stroll in. Aiden's first. He walks in with that same backpack over both shoulders, and loose skinny jeans. The second person is, oh what a surprise, Lindsay. That push up bra and low cut tee shirt she wears makes me roll my eyes for the second time today. They take their seats in the front row, next to each other.

While Mrs. Tuck starts to teach the lesson, my face is locked to the textbook on my desk. I don't want to look forward and see them together. However, I don't need to, because her whispering isn't too hard to make out from where I'm sitting. When I glance up, her face is turned slightly, looking at me with a grin. I immediately shove my face back down, not daring to look her way for the rest of the eighty minutes I'm here.

All I can think about is how much it kills me to see Aiden so blind.

The bell finally rings to dismiss us, and I'm the first one out of my seat. My feet scramble their way to the door, but stop when Mrs. Tuck calls my name from behind me.