Where Dreams Lay

[twenty seven]

[twenty seven] "she acts like summer and walks like rain" -train

I spent the afternoon at Aiden's house. But of course, I stayed until I had to pick up Luke, Casey and Joey.

Everything feels different now. The fact that I said what I said and it actually worked for the first time EVER . . . is hard to believe. I mean, sometimes I think that my life is just a dream and that I'll eventually wake up, and realize the reality.

I must have pinched myself a good twenty times since the accident. No joke.

Sometimes I feel like it's going to be okay, but other times I have second thoughts. This crazy rollercoaster my life has turned into doesn't seem to have an ending so far. Every new day is a chance to change my life. Every new day I find myself making choices and sometimes regretting them.

When I kissed Aiden it felt like my choice was finally right. Like I actually made the correct decision. Do you know why I know that for sure? Because he was there for me when I thought I was alone. He didn't watch Lindsay dis me like everyone else. I know that what we have isn't something to be ignored. I also know that he knows it too—because he told me himself.

At his house, I found myself going mentally crazy for more. For once, I didn't think about how screwed up my life back at home is. My mother potentially dying and leaving me forever, was yes at the back of my mind like always, but Aiden made me forget the negative parts . . . and remember the positive ones.

That's another thing I've learned from him: he always looks for the bright side. There were times when I knew he was in a dark state, and that time was when Lindsay got into his head.

Now that he has realized what she did, that smile almost never finds its way off his face. The dimple is always noticeable and the messy aspect of that hair leaves me wondering how anyone can be so perfect.

Screw Hannah Montana's lyric, 'nobody's perfect', because to me: he is.

Somehow, someway, our lips found each other again and my heart has yet to learn how to handle those feelings. The homework we agreed to do together never found its way out of our backpacks. The whole time with him was a memory I will treasure, because it was one of the few times that I felt safe—like nothing could possibly ruin something so special.

What scares me the most is that there's this sickening feeling in my gut that's telling me something bad. It's a feeling that this short period of paradise won't last long. What alerts me even more, is that I don't know if I'm ready for it or not.

* * *

Now, I'm home with my brothers and sister. I want to say that this time I will spend with them will be the calm part of the day, but honestly, I'm not sure if that will be true. As crazy as this day was, those three can cause a hell lot of commotion. More then you think would be possible for a few kids.

I go to sleep tonight wondering if this moment of peace will last. The thought of having a normal life seems impossible: one where life is at peace and the negative things in this world don't haunt me at every second of the day. Well you see, maybe that's a good thing . . . that my days aren't a routine anymore. That they are filled with new surprises—good ones along with bad ones.

* * *

The morning sky shines bright as I walk to school. Only a few clouds cover us humans, and the rest is just blue. A blue I can't help but gaze at, hoping it will never go away.

My black yoga pants fit tightly around my legs today. Casual is comfortable. That's what I've learned. My wavy brown hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, with those annoying side bangs hanging loose by the side of my face.

I'm a street away from school, and I start to feel excited to see what it'll be like. What she'll be like. I start to hear loud, big footsteps from behind me, so I turn my head around to see who they belong to. It is a pretty large man that's few feet from me, and he's wearing all black. I decide it's probably some guy trying to find his way at eight o'clock in the morning.

Soon, I start to hear more footsteps, but from both my left and right sides instead. Two more men wearing the same black clothing are soon joined together with the first guy. I start to pick up my pace, but a hand grasps onto my wrist, causing me to stop.

"Excuse me, Ms.?" The man who holds my wrist asks.

"Uh, yeah?" I reply, feeling my heart starting to race.

The other men grab my other wrist and I find my arms tangled behind my back. The one in front of me says, "You're going to have to come with us. Paris Anderson."

My eyes widen and I'm about to scream for help, but he sprays some liquid in my face. Suddenly, my eyes start to feel tired and a dizzy feeling is sent into my head. I try to tell myself to . . . stay . . . awake. I try to repeat the words:. . . don't . . . close . . . eyes . . .

But I'm too late. 

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Lyric video-drops of jupiter, Train