Where Dreams Lay

[twenty four]

[twenty four] "don't tell me you're sorry 'cause your not. baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught." -Rihanna

Walking the halls of school after what happened yesterday afternoon aren't as easy as I thought it would be.
I feel kind of different . . . but I don't really know what that means. Between that morning with Liam and that afternoon with Aiden, I'm not sure what to think anymore.
You see, I've always thought it was so cliché of people to say that one kiss can change your life. Or that someone special will give you an intense romantic moment that have you realizing how you really feel and all that crap.
So maybe it's not crap after all.
Honestly, I have no idea what would've happened between Aiden and I if he didn't get forced to leave right after our kiss. Would he have said something more? Kissed me again? Perhaps we would've gone some place other than his house or the school-
A light shock of pain eases its way through my shoulder, and I realize that that was the third time I've bumped into somebody while walking. The third time I've been so distracted in my own thoughts that controlling where I walk has become a challenge.
Holy shitballs what is happening?

During class, I kept getting that feeling that someone was looking at me. That pair of eyes were watching my every move. However, I didn't dare to look to see whom they belonged to.
Now, I'm at my locker getting my lunch. The halls are quiet since class ended about fifteen minutes ago, so when I look around, the sound of my phone smacking onto the floor a feet away from me is loud.
I walk further to my left and begin to hear voices. Around the corner-which is only a few feet from me-are a boy and girl having a conversation. The respectful person in me says to get my phone off the floor, and walk away. On the other hand, when the male voice begins to sound familiar, I end up stepping closer to the situation.
"What is it you had to tell me?" The boy says.
"Well I saw something earlier today, thought you might want to know." Her voice rings in my ears, because it comes out in a flirtatious way that allows me to connect the dots quickly.
"Okay . . . tell me then." The boy's voice is low and raspy.
She stays silent for a few seconds, then he swears under his breath and says loudly, "Lindsay spit it out already! I have a practice to get to!"
I take a step back, scared he might come around the corner.
"Aiden," Lindsay breathes out, "You might think everything is going to turn out like a happily ever after . . . but let me tell you that that's bull, because-"
"I'm leaving."
I start to back up, but stop when she speaks again, "No, you'll want to hear this. Trust me."
"When do I ever trust you?"
"When you realize I was right. So shut up and listen." Silence, then a sigh, "Aiden I saw that little kiss if you must call it yesterday. That shrimp isn't worth it-"
"What do you know? And why do you care anyway?" he sounds annoyed and a smile creeps up on my face. Normally, I would put it away, but I can't help but be happy he's mad at her.
"I care about you. And all I wanted to say, was that she's a liar. Don't you still wonder why she wasn't talking to you for a whole day? Possibly even two? Aiden, you may think that now she's all in love with you and everything's going to be up hill from here . . . but you're wrong."
"Lindsay you're not making sense." Aiden says.
"Then let me clarify: Paris . . . is with someone else."
I don't hear anything for a while and I can't help but wonder what his facial expression is. However, I'm kind of lost in my own thoughts at the moment.
According to Lindsay, I'm dating some other guy. Ha, like he'll believe that one.
"How would you know that?" I finally hear Aiden's voice.
"Because I talk to him. I see them together, it's getting obvious Aiden."
"What if you're the one lying, huh? What if I believe you and it turns out that she's the honest one I should trust?"
She sighs, "Because I don't want you to get hurt. Once she breaks the news to you . . . I'll be hard to take in. I see you two, so I know you won't take this easy. Aiden, trust me. You might as well give up on trying to win her heart when she clearly isn't making an effort to win yours."
My heart drops to my stomach when he doesn't respond. Did that actually work on him? Since when is Lindsay good at this stuff?
I hear shuffling and decide that now would be a good time to make a run for it. So I sprint to my locker, grab my book bag, and leave.

* * *

The last time I was here, mom's hair was down. When I sit down on the chair that never leaves this room, the first thing I notice is her hair: it's in a lose ponytail. I lean in, careful not to touch her body, and tuck the free strand of hair behind her ear. This sight is still odd and scary, but I've somehow gotten used to it. But every single day, I walk into this room and hope to see her eyes open and smile full. Clearly, my dreams haven't come true yet.
I sigh loudly, and decide to talk to mom. "So it's been an off day. I mean, how can everything in your life just turn around like this? Liam never spoke to me, he never even looked at me . . . and now, he's acting so different."
I begin to twirl my hair with my fingers, looking down as I speak. "I don't know what to do, mom. Aiden is acting strange and Lindsay just won't shut up and stop. I wish you were here to help me-I wish dad was still here.
"I had my first kiss. It was nothing like I expected it to be. But now I feel like it didn't even mean anything to him. Jeez, I can't believe I'm saying this . . . but I really like Aiden. Like, really, really like him, and I have no clue how to fix this mess. Do you?"
I finally look at her face, and see nothing but pale flesh, motionless. I know she's breathing but it feel like I'm talking to a dead body. Dead people don't respond, and neither does she.
My feet work on their own and start walking around the small room. I try to think and think but nothing's coming to me. It's hopeless.
I stop pacing and decide that staying in this room isn't helping, so my next move is to walk down the hallway.
Before I know it, I'm circling the floor and wondering how the heck I could convince Aiden that Lindsay lied. I want to talk to him, but don't know how or when. Then there's Jace, who told me that Aiden is faking or something like that. I don't know if believing him would be the smart thing to do, or the stupid thing to do.
Apart of me says to talk to Liam, but the fact that I've seen him with Lindsay before makes me trust him less and less.
Isn't there anybody trustworthy in my life right now?
The last thing I want is to believe the wrong person and screw things up even more. Oh, what fun that would end up being.
Maybe I should give Aiden some time to rethink the situation. He probably just needs-
"Oh, crap! Sorry-" I say.
"Sorry, ma'am." I back away from the man I just bumped into, who's already walking away.
It takes a second for me to realize who that was. His black leather jacket and dark hair was all too familiar. I do a double take and the day Jace walked away with a man, is the one I just saw.
Why is he here again? Why was he here in the first place?
Well would you look at that . . . I'm confused for the hundredth time this week. Horary.
* * *

Luke holds Casey's hand when they walk off the bus. I never knew that he did that, or play such a big brother for them.
Right now, I'm standing about fifteen feet from the bus stop they get off of after school. I've been dropping them off, but some days they take the bus, which I'm very grateful for.
Joey is the one that sees me first. He starts to run towards me as I wave my hand to get all their attention. A smile forms on each of their faces and I can't help but smile back. Things may have been rough at school, but at home, these kids have been my glue to stick me back together if I shatter. A part of my family is gone, but that doesn't mean all of us will collapse. We may have lost a member, but we're still a family.
So I take Joey's hand and intertwine it with mine as we begin to walk. Casey and Luke walk in front of me, reminding me what to be thankful for.

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Lyric video-take a bow by Rihanna