Ignite My Soul

Chapter 15.1 - What is Love?

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Maybe I am foolishly in

Love with someone that is

Not exactly on the same page that I am on

Well, all my friends keep tellin' me stop

Walkin' 'round so blindly

But when he calls

They're not around

To ever remind me

Maybe this isn't love

But if it isn't love, then really, what is love?

Maybe I will never really know what's love.

Cause when he's around, he got me feelin' some kinda way.

Maybe this isn't love

But if it isn't love, then really, what is love?

Maybe I don't need to know what's really love.

Cause when he's around, he got me feelin' some kinda way

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I have heard the speeches from my friends Nkele, Dineo, Kelly and Roche. Let's just say you have not heard an insult until it comes in Tswana, Sotho, Snobbish English and Afrikaans. Khaya has been called every name you can think of. No matter how hard I attempt to walk away, I cannot just switch off my feelings. Where can I buy the Love Switch kodwa? I keep trying to avoid thinking about him and falling for him.

Don't bother calling me stupid. Stupid is all I see when I look in the mirror, yet when I go through our texts, I question how I can love him so much as much as I question how I cannot. We have not seen each other for a month. I am giving him space to deal with the Tsholo issue because, really, I ain't got time for that. I could be biased, but I am not feeling this pregnancy, and I don't want to fight with Khaya about it. The last time I raised it, he told me she sent him a picture of her belly. This man is like the devil; whenever my hands are idle, he just occupies every thought I have. I send him a text.

Khwezi: "Hey. What you up to?"

Khaya: "Hey... I'm sending out a quote... wassup?"

Khwezi: "Just checking on you. I'm bored, and I miss you."

Khaya: "It's been a while, hey... I got you a small lighter in Barcelona... it's not a jet flame because those die out. So this is better.

Khwezi: "When am I getting it?"

Khaya: "I dunno yet... I'll let you know, but next week for sure."

Khwezi: "That's sweet, hey. Thanks for the lighter. Cool, see you next week."

Khaya: "So what you got going on tonight?"

Khwezi: "I am meant to go to Macufe, but I don't feel like it. So I just wanted to hang out today; hence, I asked what you are up to."

Khaya: "Oh, okay... I'll be at a mate's house catching up."

Khwezi: "Enjoy Hun"

...

I am working from Bedford View today, my favourite suburb. I hate driving in traffic, so I plan to chill at my favourite restaurant. I am reading through my emails before leaving the office and find one of those emails enticing you to test drive a car. I am not really looking for a car, but my car has been giving me issues lately, so maybe I will pass the time at the dealership. I call the number and the sales guy tells me they are closing in 45 minutes but will wait for me. I pack up and head to the dealership.