Ignite My Soul

Chapter 11 - Come Dine with Me

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"Don't want this thing, but can't let go

Even though I need it so

Your arms they soothe me

But I ain't no game, I ain't no toy, I ain't just brain.

This ain't no movie mane

I'm a real woman

Been down this road before

I just need more

I just need more

Why does my body ignore what my mind says?

I try to keep it intact, but I'm here in this bed.

I need to listen, listen

I need to listen, listen

Why does my body ignore what my mind says?

I try to keep it intact, but I'm here in this bed.

I need to listen, listen

I need to listen, listen"

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I wake up feeling jolly, bouncing my head like I am singing Brandy's "Sitting on Top of the World". The hickeys are now a distant memory, just like PE. Is that a City or an acronym for some disease? It has been a month since he sent me the friend request and we started chatting. I know some details about him, like where he stays and where he works. Finally, I get to meet Khaya.

He has a younger brother who stays with his aunt. He lives with his uncle, though the house is his. Well, his mama's house, she left it to him when she passed away. He was in his matric year when he had to start taking care of his sick mother, but he managed to get ahead and support the family. He is now taking care of his younger brother, though he stays with his aunt.

I think that level of pain and responsibility is part of what draws me to this man. He is light yet deep when we converse. He has dry humour, talks a lot of nonsense and makes me laugh. We both love music, movies and series. He is into animation, and I prefer the 3D kind that gets incorporated into EPIC movies like The Lord of the Rings, which is one of the movie genres we have in common.

Chatting on the phone is easy, long conversations, which makes me nervous about tonight because some people can text longer than when talking face to face. I am more shy face to face if I am not used to you. Also, with my dry humour and impulsive thoughts, I worry about how a person will react. You know, when you text, you get a moment to think and respond, yet in person, you can never hide shock or disapproval.

Dear Khwezi, please don't kill my vibe by overthinking. Just let loose and have fun. If you gel, then you must decide what you are doing with someone's boyfriend, and if you do not gel, so be it. It will be an adventure to write about one day. "The day I met my Facebook crush." That should be a fascinating read.

I get to the office, and I am functional. Yes, that is the correct word. I am functional but not productive. I am floating on a cloud and equally a nervous wreck. I don't know what to expect, but I also don't want to go with expectations. I am wearing a long, long-sleeved, body-hugging, knitted, brown dress. It is wintertime, so I have on a yellow coat. My braids are tied in a high ponytail. I do not wear make-up other than lip gloss. My momma's genes say I don't need M.A.C.

I hear his voice, for the first time when he calls at 16h00. I panic when I see his call, thinking he is cancelling on me. Luckily, he is asking to move the time to 19h30 instead of 18h00 because he forgot his wallet at home. He has been fasting for a week, observing Ramadan, which ends on Friday, and he's been leaving his wallet at home. Imagine a Xhosa guy acting all Muslim to save money. Okay, I am being rude; he probably has a purpose for it. I hope the face is as I picture it with this voice. Anyway, his voice is not really extraordinary. But he has a way of speaking that makes me want to jump on every word he utters!