Drops of Jupiter (Chicago Fire/Otis Fanfic)

18. Sacred Ground

I had taken a three month furlough to take care of myself and Ximena. She was grieving as well, having lost her father. The days following Otis's death and his funeral were heartbreaking to watch as Ximena had cried at first before turning quiet. She was silent for several days and would barely look at me. I let her grieve, knowing it would take some time and grief was never linear. But in that three month period, I found out I was pregnant. With the timing, I had gotten pregnant within a few weeks of Otis's death and hadn't realized it. Not only did I have to raise Ximena but I also had a newborn coming too.

But it was the first time I was going to work since I lost Otis. Ximena had a breakdown, thinking she was going to lose me too. I had to assure her multiple times as I was driving her to school that I was going to be okay. I felt horrible having to leave her when she felt so bad. Ximena was my little girl and I was leaving her heartbroken.

When I got to the firehouse, I went to the locker room to change. I was quiet as people started filtering into the room with me. They greeted me but didn't say much else. It was like they didn't want to upset me or anything.

Once I was changed, I went to the chief's office. He was expecting me at the beginning of the shift anyway. When I got to his office, he was on the phone but waved for me to sit down. I sat and waited patiently.

Once the chief was done, he looked at me. "How are you doing, Lupe?"

I shrugged. "As best as can be expected. Ximena is still feeling not having Brian around but we're still here and that's all that I can ask for. She actually cried today when I was taking her to school because she didn't want to lose me while I was on shift."

"Well, we're going to do everything we can to make sure that you go home to her," Boden said. "I wanted to check on you before the day started and see if there was anything you needed. I know I've asked this before but do you or Ximena need a chaplain to talk to?"

I shook my head. "Not as of right now but I do have some news. I'm pregnant and the time matches up to where I got pregnant within like two weeks of Brian dying."

Boden nodded slowly. "How do you feel about that?"

"I'm going to have the baby," I replied. "It's the last thing I have left of Brian and I don't want to let that go just yet. I miss him too much to his baby go, even if I'll be a single mom."

"You won't be alone in this, Lupe," Chief Boden said. "You have the whole house on your side supporting you. And don't forget my offer about the chaplain, okay?"

I nodded, getting up. "Thank you, Chief."

Boden got up with me. "It's my pleasure. The first brief of the day is in a few minutes. Do you want to come with me to the briefing room?"

Boden and I walked to the meeting room. A few of the other firefighters were in the room already and greeted me kindly. I sat in the back corner of the room, trying to stay out of people's view. I loved the people I worked with but being at the firehouse was a bit touchy. It was where I met my husband and where I lost him.

After the briefing, I went to go do chores. I was by myself for most of the day, sweeping the bay. I was alone with my thoughts until Casey came to find me.

"Hey, meet me in my office in a couple of minutes," Casey said.

I nodded and finished the part of the bay I had been doing. I put the broom away before going to Casey's office. He was on the computer and looked up when I walked in.

"Hey, Lupe. Please sit down."

I pulled up a chair and sat down, a bit nervous about what he was going to say.

Casey leaned back in his chair while looking at me. "How are you doing? Like, really? You were gone for three months and you weren't responding to texts that often."

"I was dealing with the death of my husband while also having to raise my daughter," I replied. "I had a lot to deal with and couldn't answer my phone as much. I'm doing better now, though. I'm actually pregnant, and judging by the timing, it's Brian's. I'm keeping the baby as it's the last thing I have of my husband."

Casey sighed. "What kind of support do you need in the future?"

"Boden already offered to call the chaplain and I have a good friend watching Ximena whenever I'm on shift," I replied. "She even offered to be with the baby as soon as it arrives. I'd like some more help as I'll be a single mom to two soon but I'll be okay. I'd like some support until I can be in my feet a bit more."

"We'll offer as much as we can give," Casey said. "It's good having you back. It hasn't been the same without you or Otis. If you need anything else, just tell me and I can see what I can do."

"Thank you," I replied. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, not at all," Casey replied. "You're good to go."

I left to go find something to do. I ended up in the common room, sitting at the table. I was looking at my phone when Joe came up and sat next to me. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me. We didn't talk as we sat there. It was comfortable to just sit there and enjoy each other's company without talking. Joe had been such an amazing support throughout the loss of my husband. He did a lot with helping with Ximena as well.

We got a call and got up to leave. It was a car accident and we were there awhile cleaning up afterwards. It was long work but it felt good to be back in action. It took my mind off worrying. I was worried for Ximena and how she was doing. It was the first day that we would be away from each other since I went on leave. I missed her but there was a job I had to do. I had to provide for my little girl and the new baby coming. They were my world and I didn't want to leave or disappoint them. Not with my children and so many others depending on me. My husband's legacy meant I had to hold it up.