Carnage
I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face covered in blood and my hair short and matted.
The piercing sound of metal hitting the tiles flooded my ears and i covered them to isolate the noise. It didn't work. I couldn't breathe properly, weight pushing on my chest , like an unyielding mountain of stone crushing me bellow.
I looked down to see my body covered in blood. My hands leaving bloody prints on the counter top.
Panic flooded me immediately , as i ran my hands under the tap trying to get the blood out. Each time i scrubbed more fell down, until the whole sink was full of it. Nothing was clear. There was blood everywhere i looked.
- I can't get the blood out. I can't get the blood out. I whispered to myself feeling like my whole sanity revolved around it. I scrubbed and scrubbed until i felt my skin turn raw and still more blood dripped in the sink.
Then i was hot. Violent burning heat spreading underneath my skin, in my muscles, in my lungs. It felt as if though my whole being was on fire.
- I will find you nahtbleda you can not hide forever. A voice suddennly pierced through the madness and i felt my heart lurch in fear , my movements seizing.
Fear. Undiluted pure fear rushed in and out of me , as a loud bang echoed behind me.
- Open the door. The voice yelled making me drop to the ground and hug my knees. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything.
- Open the door you poluted blood. Open! It yelled again the tone of it changing to something else. Someone else.
- Avalen my child . Let me in. I can help you. My father said and it made me look back towards the door. The unease that spread through me made me reach and search for the metal i dropped.
My fingers coiled around the cold steel, only to realise it's a knife. My father's hunting knife. I looked around and noticed the room was blurred, like seeing it through foggy glass. Strange.
My father.
My father.
My father is dead.
- This is not real. A whisper left me and as soon as it , did the bathroom around me blurred further.
- Open the door Avalen. Please i can help you. The voice said again the door rattling , but it felt so far away me now.
- Carnage wake up. Wake up! You are dreaming ! Wake up! A new voice yelled so loudly it rattled the room around me, tiles falling off the walls and breaking into pieces in my legs.
- Wake up Carnage! It yelled again and i was violently pulled back through an abyss of darkness for what felt like forever.
Rage is the first thing that hit me as my eyes opened , bright light piercing my pupils. The shadows rushed to the surface and through my hands so quickly I couldn't catch them.
When i felt a hand on me i lost it and hurled myself back until i hit something solid. My vision slowly cleared . I am in a small chamber. A gaping hole above my head . It's dark but i can see their lumos away from me.
Slowly I reconzed the figures one by one.
Tap , Hermione, Cez, Butch .Matheo right in front of me kneeling to my level.
I am on the ground.
What's the last thing I remember?
We fell through the floor.
The magic in me felt unsteady, still afflicted by my dream. I could feel it , barely constrained underneath my skin. My breath came out rapidly, while i tried to shake the images off.
A dream.
I was dreaming.
This is real.
I repeated in my head like a mantra but it wasn't working. I felt so.. angry, violent.
When i clocked the movement towards me , my body reacted before my brain did and a loud snarl left my throat as i flashed my canines at him.
- Don't fucking touch me. I yelled out anger turning my vision red.
It stuttered him and he took a sharp inhale and his hands raised up quickly, but he didn't move from his space.
I couldn't even focus on his face . I didn't care it was him. All i cared about was anger.
Butch stood up quickly and took a step towards us , making my head snap to him , the shadows stirring.
- Sit the bloody hell back . Matheo said with a calm tone and i watched Butch slowly sit down.
- Don't look at him , look at me. He said and the tone of his voice dropped lower.
- You need to breathe. Tell me three things you see. Matheo urged and it confused me for a moment , before i scanned around.
- You. A knife and a bag.
- Good and who im i? Matheo questioned making me frown.
- Matheo.
- Good. Breathe. He mumbled and i followed his pattern until the anger dissipated , only to be replaced by guilt as i realised my actions slowly.
- I'm sorry. I managed to get out but it felt like i had a lump in my throat.
He didn't reply he just moved slowly, before taking a seat beside me and placed his hand palm up on the ground. A silent gesture and it made me scan his face for anything a miss. I felt so god damn guilty.
Despite myself i placed my hand in his , his warmth seeping through me instantly and it made me curl my fingers. It took a while for my breathing to get to normal. The others stood around a smile fire , their backs turned on us. I respected their subtle gesture of giving us privacy.
- I didn't knew you speak. Matheo said and the perseltongue caressed my ears. His voice sounded so different , when he spoke it and the question hit me by surprise , making me turn to face him.
- You speak it in your sleep. You had a nightmare. He both stated and questioned and it made me curse out. For i never knew that until now, it makes sense my subconscious will try to protect me, making my words incomprehensible.
- I always have nightmares. This one just.. it hit me by surprise . I haven't dreamt since i stepped in this place i thought.. i am passed that..i'm sorry . I admitted and watched him shake his head .
- I understand i have them too. I'm sorry i woke you... but you were screaming... i just. I hate it. He blurred out and squeezed my hand. No lie. No reaction of fear. True.
- What happens in yours? I questioned and watched him look away from me , taking a deep breath. His messy curls were getting out of control, falling all over his face. Too damn pretty to exist this man , even down here.
- I am pushed down a hallway and my head is spining . I can't fight back, when i am thrown into a dark room , the door closing with a loud thud. It feels like all air leaves the room and I can't breathe.
Then i am in pain, my back feels like it's being split open repeatedly, but I can't even yell , because i have no voice.
Then i wake up. Matheo whispered out his tone turning to ice. I could see it was hard for him to share , his body language all over the place.
I couldn't do anything , but listen and hold his hand. I found myself hoping it be enough.
- Tell me yours. He asked and turned back to me , those molten eyes pleading.
- The night my family died i think.
- Tom told me you don't remember anything. Matheo questioned and it made me snort a laugh.
- Tom seems to share a lot with you lately. I joked , but he smiled sligtly. For the first time he wasn't frowning at the mention of his brother.
- Only when it comes to you. Don't avoid the question demon . I know all your tricks . Matheo said and narrowed his eyes at me. It made me smile , because i was going just that.
- I am in a bathroom standing in front of a mirror.
I drop something metal on the ground and the sound echoes so loud on the tiles.
Then i see my hands covered in blood. My dress , my legs. When i turn to the mirror that's all i see. Blood in my eyes in my hair , on my skin.
I try to wash my hands , but it never works , instead i turn everything around me in red splotches.
There is someone banging on the door , but i fear to let them in and I can't breathe.
All that goes in my head is..
- You can't get the blood out? Matheo interrupted stuttering me silent.
- That's what you screamed in perseltongue. It's how i knew you were having a nightmare. Matheo explained and if i could disappear into the floor, never to be seen again, i would.
There was a short silence , before he turned to me , his hand catching my jaw abruptly.
- Show me. He whispered looking down at me.
- What?
- Your face. The way it changed. Show me. He explained and looked into my eyes. No hesitation.
- I can't. It's not something i can control. It's more of a instinctual reaction , based in emotions. I explained and his eyes darkned . His hand moved up swiftly and his grip tightened just above my jaw and under my cheeks, making it slack open.
It wasn't painful , but the sheer control it yelded to him ,filled my mind with lust .
This time it felt easy , letting the monster through. Natural almost .
He didn't even blink , his eyes never dropping mine.
- There you are. He whispered his eyes widening . I could see the reflection of my eyes in his, my face... , what a thing i thought .
His grip eased and he moved his hand to my chin, tilting my head up.
- Why hide this away demon? How have i never seen you like this? It's beautiful.... He questioned making me frown.
- Cause that's all i know. Hiding. I admitted and the felt ten stones lighter somehow. He frowned at me , before leaning close to my lips. I instinctively pulled back , but he didn't let me.
- Don't. Kiss me like this. He bit out and looked dead into my eyes with a vicious smirk.
Gods smite me down, with rain of fire, here and now, so I don't fall for this man. I thought ,but knew deep down it was for too late.
When he kissed me i knew for damn sure. I was cursed.
