Matheo's screams pierced my ears like daggers and i was up on my feet one breath later. I ran straight down the hallway, the screams only going louder.
All i felt was fear, raw and helpless fear that felt like it was choking me.
- Stop . Please. Stop. I'm begging you. He yelled just as i reached the door and found it locked.
The mark on my chest felt like it was burning my skin off and i lost it, kicking the door down.
He was twsiting and turning in bed and i rushed straight for him , grabbing his shoulders to steady him in place.
His yells were so loud... , but when i turned him around i realised, he wasn't screaming, his lips sealed shut.
The burning mark on my chest eased , but my panic didn't.
- Matheo wake up. Wake up. You are asleep. I yelled and shook him, but he remained dead weight in my hands.
I couldn't get his screaming out of my head.
- Tom! TOM! I yelled above the raging screams and pulled Matheo up.
- Please! I'l won'tdo it again. I promise please! Matheo shrieked in my mind and a wave of pain hit me out of nowhere, my mind snapping.
The shadows rushed out of me and into him , crawling towards his mind , until i wasn't in the bedroom no more.
I was in a basement, stones all around me and the scent of mold.
A chair stood in the middle and on top of it a boy, his hands tied to armrest.
He had streaks of blood all over his white shirt , the horrible smell of burning skin all around.
He was franticly breathing, his curly head barely hanging straight.
There was no one here , but him and the darkness.. no one.
It hit me then, where i am and as i stared at the much younger version , of the man i held in real life.
- WAKE UP MATHEO! I yelled in his mind, my shadows pushing further and the illusion around me shattered , returning me back to reality and to the left punch that was coming straight for my jaw.
I blocked it quickly, shaking off the drousiness , and he flipped me over , his eyes full of rage , but glassy.
He was still asleep i realised and moved my head to the right, avoiding another punch in the face and sending my knee into his ribs.
- Wake up god damn it . It's me Matheo. It's Carnage. I yelled out , but he just rebelled , grabbing my leg and twisting it.
My anger snapped and i rammed my forehead into his , he yelled out and fell backwards and to the ground.
Tom bursted through the door out of breath and wand up in the air. I looked towards Matheo to find him kneeling on the ground and staring back at me , the glassiness of his eyes gone.
- Matheo ? You awake? I questioned and watched him blink , his eyes vacant . I stepped towards him slowly this time, i knew exactly what he was going through. Only the gods knew how many times i had been in his place.
Tom shifted on his legs and i threw him a look that told him to remain where he is and watched him nod subtly back at me.
- Hey there lover. You are okay. It was just a nightmare. I whispered out and grabbed his hand , taking a seat on the ground beside him.
- I'll go get a drink. You want a drink? Tom rushed out making me look to him, he looked worries and confused and terribly uncomfortable in the situation . Can't say i blamed him.
- Drink sounds good. I replied and Tom threw his brother one more look , before walking out.
Matheo's grip on my hand tightened and i looked back to him to find him staring at me , his eyes full of so much guilt. His eyebrow split open , from where i slammed my forehead into his. I dropped his hand and tried to get up, looking for any bandage to press on it, but he caught my wrist, his grip iron and pulling me back.
- Don't leave, please, i didn't want to hurt you . He rushed out in panic and it gave me a pause.
- Hey it's okay. I am not leaving . I'm not hurt , but you are. I just want to get a bandage or something for your eyebrow. I replied and he frowned , dropping my hand and reaching to touch his eyebrow.
- It's bleeding. He stated the obvious out , while i rummages to the closest drawer i could find. Paper tissues would have to do.
- Yes well, i might have slammed my head in yours , to snap you out of it, but you weren't listening. Sorry about that. I replied and kneeled in front of him, tilting his head to the light and slowly tapping the tissue over the cut. He just stood there his eyes focused on me.
- I don't... i don't know what happened. I'm sorry. He mumbled out , his voice full of uncertainty.
- Night terrors and you don't have to be sorry. You took care of me before , the way i see it i owe you. How often does this happen?
- First time. He replied but his eyes strayed off to the side immediately .
- Lie to me again i'll hit you on the other side of the head lover, give you a matching set of split eyebrows. You'd look so badass. I joked trying to ease the tension and he laughed this time, barely but he laughed.
- You don't think i look badass already? All my acts of crime were wasted. He amused dramatically and pretended to be offended. I gave him a deadpan look and put the bloody napkin on the side , waiting for him to muster the courage and answer.
- A lot since i got out. Never like this though. Usually i just.. wake up. He mumbled lowly and took a deep breath.
- Yeah.. i know the feeling.
- Does it go away? Did yours ? He questioned and looked into my eyes with such hope, it made the answer i had , taste foul on my tongue .
- Not really, but.. it gets easier over time.
Muggles have a word for it you know - PTSD- post traumatic stress disorder.
On Amaru we call it "arhesi sol" - the burden of a soldier - because it's most prominent amongst those who fight for a living. Those who see and experience things , normal people are not supposed to. I explained and he stood up from the ground slowly .
I thought he looked rather pretty, with his hair a mess of curls and his wrinkled t-shirt and loose jog pants.
- You speak of it like it's a normal thing. Matheo said and it made me smile bitterly.
- Because it is . She's right , a lot of soldiers experience this irregularity in dream states , some argue it's like a gateway to another plane. Tom suddenly replied and walked in with a bottle of firewisky and pastries. Add that to top 10 impossible things , i thought i'd never see. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, but also nervous and it made me smile.
So there is a heart underneath all that cold exterior i thought , but said nothing.
- How do you know that? I questioned and he looked away , placing the tray on the desk by the window .
- I grew up in an orphanage, in a time when the muggles were at war. I've seen a lot of it , even if i have not experienced it myself. He replied and the new information he shared boggled my mind. He told me before , but i never assumed the orphanage was a muggle one? That must have been hard , considering muggles think magic to be a fairy-tell or heresy, depending on the age group. Matheo looked equally surprised, but he said nothing either, taking the drink Tom offered him.
- Look at us , a bunch of dysfunctional individuals having a cup of morning tea. I amused , squishing between them and taking the third glass of the table myself, before taking a seat on the desk.
- That's firewhisky and it's 6'o clock in the afternoon. Tom pointed out but i saw him crack a smile.
- Oh patato - potato . Unnecessary details. I waved off and Matheo laughed downing the drink beside me, Tom following.
We moved to the ground after , talking and drinking . I do believe it was the closest thing to normal interaction all three of us ever had and i enjoyed every moment of it. Worries all forgotten for a while.
Until Shadow appeared on the window , slamming his beam in the glass demandingly . It stuttered the fragile peace we established and i got up to let him in.
Cold London air greeted my face and i extended my hand forward , the beautiful creature wrapping its talons around my forearm.
- Bloody hell that thing is massive. This is your owl? Matheo questioned and it made me laugh.
- Yeah Tom acquired him for me. Isn't he beautiful? I questioned and unwrapped the small letter attached to his leg.
- He's vicious is what he is. Tom grumbled out and Shadow hissed back at him , making me laugh . That laugher died on my tongue when i unwrapped the letter.
