Back To You // T.K

Pearl

At 6 p.m sharp the next day, I was standing outside of Alec's front door, - he had called me and asked to talk in person, so I figured that having a conversation wouldn't have hurt.
I didn't get enough sleep, partly because Tom kept calling me, and also because I didn't want to face him, nor Alec.
But it had do be done anyway, so there I was, in front of his villa.
Alec's house wasn't as big as Tom's, but it was nice: a two storey house, with a small garden on the right and a garage on the left.
I rang the bell a couple of times, until he finally came to open the door.
He wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips and another one he was using to dry his hair, - he was fresh out of the shower.
I didn't let that distract me, though, because it couldn't distract me even if I wanted: there was a time where if I saw Alec dressed in only a towel I would've ripped it off of him, but not anymore, - not after Tom.

'Hey', he smiled, as I walked up to his couch and sat down.

'Get dressed, please', I replied, harshly.

'Yeah, of course. Give me a minute', he said.
He looked confused, and frankly I was confused too.
My feelings had shifted in just a few days and I didn't know how to control them, or how to express them.

Alec came back with a pair of black jeans and a grey hoodie and sat next to me.
None of us talked for at least the first 5 minutes: I looked outside of the window and he looked at me, silently.

'Do you want something to eat?', he broke the silence, as I turned my head to him.

'No', I replied, 'you said you wanted to talk. I'm here to do just that.'

'Right', he tapped his fingers on his knees and sighed, 'I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, I didn't want to take it that far'

I tapped my fingers on top of my hand, unsure of what to say.

'I know', I replied, 'that doesn't excuse what you did, what you both did'.

'I know', he sighed, 'it's just that whatever you two have going on is weird, to say the least.'

I turned to him and observed him, as I waited for him to keep talking.

'You've been distant with me, princess', he took my hand in his and squeezed it; I was tempted to pull my hand away, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings, let alone argue with him about Tom.
It was true, - what was happening between us was unsuaul, and I couldn't have put a label on it, but I didn't need, nor want, to explain myself to Alec.

'Before him it was just you and me', he went on, bringing my hand to his chest, 'we did everything together, and I miss you.'

I stared at our hands on top of each other for a couple of minutes, before he put two of his fingers under my chin and lifted my face.
His gaze pierced right through me, as I tried to explain to myself what was going on, - I was too scared of his answer to actually ask him what he meant.

'I don't want anybody else to drive you away from me', he whispered as he leaned closer to me.
My heart was beating so fast that I almost could've heard it, and my hand started to sweat under Alec's warmth.

I could've told that he wanted to kiss me, but I couldn't.
It hurt me that I was going to hurt him, but I couldn't deny the fact that the man who was clouding my brain, preventing me from getting any sleep, wasn't Alec.
It was Tom, it had always been Tom and it was always going to be him, no matter how furious he made me feel with his behaviours.

'Alec', I said, but he shook his head.

'Just hear me out', he begged, 'I know what our agreement was, and I know I'm complicating things by saying this to you, but I can't hold back anymore. I can't deny how bad it makes me feel when I see you with him.'