Back To You // T.K

Tom

The door behind me opened, almost making me fall backwards.
I stayed at Pearl's place all night, but since she never opened the door, I decided to sleep on the floor with my back against it, - I could've slept on the couch, but I refused to, as I wanted to stay as close to her as she let me.

'You're still here?', she asked as she walked past me, pure disgust in her voice.
I couldn't blame her, I was disappointed in myself as well.

I slowly stood up and stretched my arms, but nothing would've saved me from the back pain I knew I was about to feel.
Pearl walked to the kitchen and made herself some coffee, completely ignoring my presence.
Anger, shouting, tears, - anything would've been better than just looking at her lifeless face.

I hesitantly walked up to her, but kept my mouth shut, - there was nothing I could've said that would've made things better, but I still wanted her to feel my presence.

She sipped on her coffee and looked at the wall in front of her, as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.
I, on the other hand, was staring at her and her pale, tired face, - her eyes were puffy, barely opened and still glossy, her lips were plumper than last night, and her hands were shaking.
I wanted to hold her in my arms so desperately, but I knew she would've probably punched me in the face if I laid as much as finger on her.

'Get out', she finally broke the silence, as she turned to me.
'I let you stay here last night because I was tired, now you can get the fuck out.'

She walked past me once more and walked into the bathroom, where she slammed the door and locked it just as I was about to follow her.
I rested my forehead against yet another closed door, and I softly knocked on it, knowing damn well she wouldn't have opened.

'Please, can we at least talk?', I begged her.

'What is there to talk about, Tom?', she said, as I heard the water running on the background, 'you're just a piece of shit and I have nothing else to say to you.'

'Okay, I deserve that', I sighed, as I brushed my hand on my face.
Not knowing what to do, what she was going to do, tormented me.

'Get out, now. I have to get to work.'

'What? Work?', I said, as I tried to open the door which, obviously, didn't budge.
'I don't think Alec needs you today.'

'Yeah, well, too bad I don't care about what you think anymore.'

That hurt, but it definitely was deserved.
I sighed and attempted to help her one more time.

'Let me drive you then', I said, but all I got in return was the sound of the water.
She wasn't speaking anymore, so I just stayed silent and stood still in front of the door, waiting for her to open it.
I was aware of the fact that I was crossing a few important boundaries, but the thought of leaving her alone never crossed my mind once, - not when I already fucked it up.
She needed someone, and even if that someone wasn't going to be me I would've made sure she wasn't alone.

After twenty minutes the water finally stopped, and I heard a resigned sigh coming from inside the bathroom.

'If I let you drive me to work, will you leave me alone then?', she asked, as I couldn't help but smile a little to myself.

'Depends if I can stay there and look after you.'

'Fine', she replied, and finally unlocked the bathroom's door.
She walked out and looked at me for the first time that morning.
My hands shook at the uncontrollable need to kiss her, but I managed to hold myself back.

'You can stay there just for today', she said, 'after that, I don't want to see you or hear from you ever again, understood?'

As she said so, she began to walk to her bedroom, while I stayed there and watched her pacing around the room to find her things.