Back To You // T.K

Pearl

Tom was gone.
Technically, his flight didn't leave for another 3 hours, but him, Jocy and Bill were already at the airport.
I drove them there first thing in the morning, but I didn't stay long because I physically couldn't take it.
The look on Tom's face, the way he smiled despite the tears, his last kiss, - it broke my heart in a way I didn't know it could break.
I know it was my fault, I know it was my decision not to leave and not to convince him to stay, but it was still hard to watch him walking away from me.
I decided to go to work that morning to try to distract myself, but everything in that gym was a reminder of him: the bathroom, the ring, even the parking lot.
I felt like my heart was about to give up on me when I got out of the car and walked into the gym, moving like a zombie without a soul.
Maybe I was exaggerating, - he promised me that we would've been fine, - but I felt like I could've died from that heartbreak.

When I stepped into the gym Alec was waiting for me with a smile on his face.
I hadn't seen him since he left for London on Christmas's Eve, - at least he was a positive thing that day, the only one.

'Hey Alec', I greeted him, wrapping my hands around his neck and pulling him into a much needed hug.

'Hey princess', he replied, but for some reason that word made me even sadder.
It made think about all the times he pissed Tom off when he called me that.

'How have you been?', I asked him, once I let him go, 'how is your mom? Your brother?'

'They're as okay as they can be', he sighed, leaning against my desk.
I often asked him about his family, but he always refused to talk about them, - besides the fact that his brother was in the hospital for something he didn't tell me, - and that day wasn't the right day to push him to do it.

'How about this Roxy?', I smiled, teasing him.
His smile immediately dropped and was replaced by a sad, almost guilty look.

'Roxanne', he corrected me, 'yeah, she's,- she's complicated.'

'Is she?', I asked, 'or are you both complicated?'

'What do you mean?', he tilted his head to the side.

'I mean, are you in any kind of trouble? You had me go lock the gym because apparently someone was supposed to come in.'

'Yeah', he chuckled and shook his head, - he looked tired.
'Yeah, we took care of it, don't worry.'

I nodded and leaned against the desk as well, right next to him.
'So, are you going to tell me who this Roxanne is?'

He smiled again and turned to me.
I had never seen him so worked up and worried about something, - or someone, - and I didn't know if I should've taken it as a positive sign, or as a really, really negative one.

'Roxy is the girl I cheated on my ex wife with', he whispered, ashamed of his words.
Okay, maybe I should've taken it as a negative sign.

I stood silent and looked at him, waiting for him to continue his story, because I could've seen in his eyes that there was more to it.
I would've never judged him, no matter how much or little I agreed with his life choices.

'She wasn't just a fling, I fell in love with her', he continued.
'You see Pearl, the reason I married Bianca in the first place was never for love, not for me and not for her either.
It was more for status, money, - I had just started my career, I was young, dumb, and way less responsible than I am now.
Bianca's father was a famous coach of many, many successful boxers, and I didn't want to be just a boxer, I wanted to be the best athlete I could've physically been.
I was never in love with Bianca, but trust that she wasn't in love with me either, she just married me to make her father finally proud, and I knew it, - and I also knew that she was cheating on me with my best friend, way before I began cheating on her', he took a small break and closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather his thoughts.