You Deserve Better

⇒ CHAPTER FORTY

Colossians 3:14

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

𝐀𝐂𝐄
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

My fist pulls back for the millionth time when i go to knock on the door. Instead of snow pouring down on this Christmas day i have had the displeasure of being met with miserable rain. Much well matched to my current mood so i cant be to surprised.

I go to knock again but yet again my hand draws back as i cower out of doing what I've desperately been trying to for what seems like hours.

I scowl at the pebbles of rain that drop on the vintage grey door, envious of the bravery they have to graze the skin of the door... unlike me.

Okay that's it, this is enough. I take a deep breath and clutch my fist tighter than i can describe. I bring my fist hard to the door and bang a few times until all i can hear is the sound of my own heart in my mouth.

Anxiety builds when i know what comes after knocking... the answering.

Everything in me tells me to turn back, tells me what am i doing here. Not a single thing about this seems right and that would explain why i was running away from it so much.

I havent a second to blink not to mention turning around before i hear the creak of the door opening up in front of me. The very heart that beat so loud i couldn't hear anything but it has become so still and silent, i question if it's still functioning.

"Dad." I say plainly looking him directly face to face, his lips are hid behind his enlarged beard but i see a hint of a smile between his lips.

"Son." He utters with a look of disbelief hidden behind his eyes.

He dare not show too much too soon, we don't do that anymore. There's nothing but the sound of rain pellets dropping to the floor and the distance of step's between us.

"Merry Christmas." I say with a slight nod while tucking my hands into my bottom pockets,

"Merry Christmas. I'm surprised to see you here-" He rushes to say as he motions with his hands before rubbing a hand through his face.

I peer inside, seeing the Christmas decorations all the way from outside. The tinsel, the lights, the tree. I can smell My mothers cooking from here-

I try with everything in me to keep down whatever it is that i feel inside. That feeling that im swallowing a rock... or a brick house for better context.

My eyes water to the point they sting, and soon enough my breaths become shaky. I look to the floor to hide this, wishing i was close enough to a drink to stomach this all.

I feel a heavy hand fall onto my shoulder and look up to see my father stepped outside to meet me, his body gradually becoming drenched with rain as he pulls me into his body in a tight hug.

My mind fights it, my body desperately wanting to fight it too but when i dare to close my eyes tears fall onto my fathers shoulders as i force myself to hold him.

A vibration rings through my chest as i cry into his shoulder...

Everything breaks.