You Deserve Better

⇒ CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

𝙴𝙳𝙴𝙽
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ROMANS 1:20
For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

*PS MAKE SURE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG ADDED AS IT SETS THE MOOD MORE*

My heart races as Pastor Davis' words hang in the air. The room, once so familiar, feels different now charged with something I can't quite explain. I glance over at Ace, sitting beside me, his jaw tight, eyes focused anywhere but on his father. I know him too well; he doesn't think he can do this. I already had a feeling of it by how he answered to the call of being ready.

The frustrating thing is, he really is ready. He has been the stable one of the group for the past few weeks, holding us down in prayer and in advice. If only he could see himself how i see him.

But my attention quickly shifts back to Pastor Davis. His gaze sweeps across all of us, landing on me for a moment longer than I'm comfortable with. He's not just a pastor to me anymore. Since my father passed, he's become something more a guide, a spiritual father and right now, I feel like I'm standing at the edge of something I'm not sure I'm ready for but with how quickly life has changed in the past few months for me, i am ready to live by faith alone.

"Firstly, let me start by saying how truly proud I am of you all. Words can't describe how much of a privilege it has been to watch God move so greatly in such young souls-" Pastor Davis pauses, his eyes sweeping over us. We exchange glances, and for a moment, pride washes through the room like a silent current, as if we hadn't realized how far we'd come until he said it.

"I want you to know that each of you, no matter how great or small your journey is, are destined for nothing less than greatness and glory." His fatherly smile grows as he leans further into the edge of the table, feet crossed casually.

I sit up a little straighter, feeling the weight of his words sink in. Pastor Davis always has this way of making you feel seen-like every step you've taken, no matter how uncertain, has been part of something bigger. Like even if all you managed to do that day was brush your teeth, that was still a part of your purpose. My eyes briefly meet Ace's again, and I can tell from the tension in his face that he's wrestling with it, too. I just want this all to be over for him. I just want him to start believing in himself!

I internally scoff at myself being the hypocrite i am. I don't even know if I believe that about myself yet. Destined for greatness. The phrase sits heavily in my mind. Part of me wants to let it stir something in my heart, to feel the weight of purpose behind those words, but the other part ,the tired part, just wants to rest. I've been walking this journey with God for so long, but sometimes it feels like I'm standing still, like each step forward chips away at my strength especially with how stagnant i have been about it all.

Still, I nod. More for myself than for anyone else. Pastor Davis' smile is reassuring, and the others seem to hold onto his words like they mean something more. Maybe they should mean more to me, too.

Pastor Davis walks slowly around the table pulling his leather seat back so he examine us more, his expression shifting to one of seriousness.

"Why do you think i asked you all if you were ready before i told you what God had said?" He sets up one of his head scratching questions as he sits into the chair with pursed lips and a grunt.

The room was mute for a moment, there's one thing about his questions. The most obvious answer is either never the right one or always the right one. There's no in between.