I'll Be Your Light In The Darkness [brustoff]

Chapter One

Trigger Warning - self harm/eating disorder

Danny POV:

As time had gone by I had noticed a change in Ben. He didn't seem himself he was quiet and kept to himself most of the time. I noticed he wouldn't go out drinking with me anymore; everyone else has noticed that he would be vomits every morning.I began to worry what's Ben hiding? And what ever it is will it be the death of him?

Ben POV:

As I lifted my shirt up to look in the mirror again tears began to fall. I was fat and ugly how pathetic of me sitting in the bathroom crying over my appearance, how self absorbed must I be? I have everything I could want I'm in my own band which has been touring around the world with non other than my best friends, I get to go out and drink all night but I'm here depressed about things that people have said about me and everyone else online it's pathetic.

But it's not just that the thing that hurts me even more is that I'm in love with my best friend. Someone who would never look at me that way. Yeah I mean we do joke about being a couple and the amount of times We've laughed about fanfictions written about us. But I know Danny would never love me that way it would destroy our friendship.It made me wonder....what would Danny do if he found out about how I feel? He would hate me he would probably call me every name under the sun. I gripped onto my arm and dug my nails into my healing wounds breaking them leaving them exposed again. Kneeling down I lifted the toilet seat up and began to stick my fingers down the back of my throat. Gagging about two or three times before I finally threw up.I began to feel shaky gripping onto the toilet seat I sat down next to it laying my face on my knees.

My eyes widened as there was a knock on the bathroom door."Hey you ok in there?" Asked James"Yeah I'm fine" I responded.I flushed the toilet, rinsed my mouth out before leaving the bathroom to see James looking at me with suspicion."Are you sure?""Yeah I'm just hungover" I responded"But I don't remember you drinking""I-I_I quickly had a couple of drinks when we got back on the bus" I responded."Ok....well your late for sound check so the others sent me to come and get you"When we got to sound check Danny came over "Hey Ben surprised I'm usually the one late!" He called."Alright Babe?" I responded pulling him into a hug.

As sound check went on I felt eyes on me. I looked to see Cam, Sam and James talking to eachother and occasionally turing to look at me.Taking my water bottle my hands began to shake as I took a sip of water. Not feeling right I decided to take the guitar off from over my shoulder and place it down. I felt really strange I felt weak and off balance and I didn't want to sit on the floor. I thought that maybe the feeling would go away if I desecrated myself.So walking over to Danny I wrapped my arms around him "Danny babe" I whimpered. Not realising I whimpered I began to feel more dizzy and I felt like the world was spinning around me. "Ben what's wrong?" He asked with concern as he turned around wrapping his arms around me."Ben? BEN!" Was the last thing I heard before I went limp and blacked out in Danny's arms.