Independent

Forty

Elijah Kyaire Johnson
27
September 2023
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"You okay papa?" My mom asked, opening the throw covers for me once I walked in to lay down on her bed with her. I nodded my head as I slid my house shoes off before getting under the covers with her and cuddling up to her. Yes I was a momma's boy and so what? What ya'll gone do 'bout it? Nothing, exactly.

"Everything's gone be okay baby" she spoke, rubbing my back aswell as running her other hand through my twists. For sum reason I started feeling emotional as a lump formed in my throat as my nose started burning.

"It's all going to be okay" she whispered one more time as my tears finally sprung free before I began sobbing in her arms while she tightened her grip around me. She started lowly singing the song she always sung to Lani and I to calm us down as kids as I just laid in her arms letting everything out.

"Dear God, everywhere Elijah walks, let it be on your path. Everything he sees, let it be through your eyes. Everything he does, let it be your will. For every hardship he faces, let him place it in your hands. Jesus, my son needs your strength and power in his life. I know apart from you, he can do nothing. He acknowledges the areas in which he feels weak and acknowledges he needs to fully rely on you."

"Give him strength and the power that we know can only come from you. Help him not to fear the future but to boldly trust that you are in control when his emotions plunge him down, and when he is in despair. And times when he can't talk and doesn't know what to say, help him to “Be still, and know that you are God”. Be his comforter, his healer and bring him peace. In Jesus' name, Amen." I heard her pray before I felt her wipe my eyes making me open my eyes to see tears streaming down her face too.

"Mommy loves you papa, always. Let God handle it.  If it's meant to be, it'll be and God will make sure of that. He'll lead you to your answer and it might not always be what you expect or want but God never leads us wrong. Momma's gonna be here for you every step of the way" she kissed my forehead a few times before she went back to singing while running her hands through my twists as I slowly closed my eyes.

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"Daddy....da, wake uppp" I heard Jr's voice making me slowly open my eyes and turn around to see him all in my face making me mush his head as he fell back laughing. I turned my head seeing I was still in my mom's bed along with her but I chuckled seeing Lani cuddled up to me to the best of her ability since her belly was in the way.

This how it always was when we were younger and I honestly miss those days. Being a kid without a care in the world, running 'round naked or in your diaper but shit now I got my own lil gremlin and another on the way.

I frowned as I thought about it and shook my thoughts away as I looked down at Jr who sat down on my stomach.

"I can have your phone please?" He asked looking down at me making me nod my head. I looked to my moms side seeing she put my phone on her night stand before looking back at Jr.

"Go get it right there" I told him while pointing to it making him get off of me before getting down from the bed and walking towards the night stand. He grabbed the phone and walked back towards the bed, getting on it and sitting back on me.

"Thank you" I mumbled as he handed me the phone before laying ontop of me with his back to my chest, watching as I scrolled through my phone. I went into my iMessages and seen Kaelynn texted me.