Always? Forever.

Keep it up Champ 🥸

As per usual, I was right in my prediction of the boys losing their fights. They were both crushed but Gon let it show more than Killua. I traveled with them to the borders of NGL. Shoot and Knuckle were there because we were seeing them off. Apparently the consequences of Gon's loss was that he couldn't use nen for 30 days. Personally I think it's either for the best or it'll just fuel the fire. No in between. Gon tried to send them off as best he could but he just couldn't stop crying. Killua was crying discreetly but I could tell. I squeezed his shoulder a bit and patted Gon on his back. He just froze up at my touch.

I walked into the border patrol building and swiped my phone and earbuds back before coming back outside. The boys were with the rest of Kites team about to load into the truck. I cleared my throat and caught everyone's attention. I awkwardly patted my legs nervously but somebody had to say this. "Gon, if they come back with Kite it'll only be his body. He's dead." Gon's eyes were already tear stained but he still gave me a properly scary glare. I grit my teeth and tightened my gaze. "Kite isn't dead." I blew a piece of my hair out of my face, letting out my anger. "Whatever you say champ. But I was there, you weren't." I couldn't help myself with the nickname. Maybe it was just me getting back at him for all the glaring.

Gon grit his teeth and clenched his fists. I bet if he had nen right now he'd try to start a fight. Either way he knows he can't beat me. Killua looked between the two of us while everyone else watched this unfold. Gon starts to take a step forward as if he's going to try something but Killua grabs his shoulder and stops him. Gon shrugs him off and grunts before clambering into the back of the truck. Killua watched me with an unplaceable look in his eyes before getting into the truck himself. I sighed but it felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest. As long as somebody said it to Gon's face then it couldn't be blamed on the fact that he didn't know about Kite. Not wanting to sit with the boys I hopped into the pad seat.

     The driver looked confused but didn't question it. I shoved my earbuds in and played some music. It was sad music that didn't really make me feel any better but I still enjoyed it. It gave me something to focus on other than death and war. I ended up being shaken awake by Killua because we made it back to wherever the hell we were staying. I thanked him and started on my way back home but he caught my hand. I turned back to look at him. And he almost said something. Almost. Instead he nodded and walked away with Gon. It was daylight out but I felt exhausted. When I made it back to the shop it was closed. Odd, normally it's open but now. I made my way through the back door and upstairs.

When I made it inside the apartment I took my coat and shoes off. "I'm home!" I yelled out but was met with silence. I shrugged and figured Louise was either out or still asleep. Probably the latter considering her shoes were still here. I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a yogurt from the fridge. I ate it and made my way to my room. On the way there I peeked into Louise's bedroom. I saw the lump of her on the bed and watched her for about a minute. Something's wrong. I pursed my lips and knocked on the doorframe. "Louise? It's time to get up." Still no answer. I took a deep breath and a shaky step into her room.

I slowly crept up to her bed where she lay face up with a pleasant and small smile on her face. Oh, I guess I figured out what was wrong. She wasn't breathing and her heart had stopped. I grasped her hand and felt for any type of pulse while I held my breath. "Oh, I see." Was all I could manage as I set down next to her body. Her wrinkly skin was cold to the touch. She'd have to have been dead for hours, maybe a day already. I took a deep breath and slid to the floor. My tears slid out silently and blood began to pour from my nose. I just curled up on the floor and cried for what felt like hours.

Louise, the lady who was on my side even when my loved ones weren't. She was a loved one. Louise was like a grandmother. I can imagine if I'd been a normal person that she could've been my grandma. This wonderful woman who took care of me when I needed it. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

By the time I was able to pull myself off of the floor and a puddle of blood and tears it was night. I wiped up all my fluids and called the hospital. I didn't really know how this worked so I did what I could. Paramedics took her body and police showed up. There was a lot to do with her body and assets. I was questioned but not intensely. I could barely feel a thing. When I was finally alone I sat down at the table and ate leftovers. It was the last meal Louise had cooked for me. I struggled to swallow the food because I'd begun crying again. When I collected myself once again I made my way into her room.

I figured I'd end up sleeping in her room tonight because I still needed her. Doesn't she get it? I still need her. Now I'm all alone again. I walked into her room and sat down on her bed, flipping on a small reading light on her bedside table. Also on the small table was a letter, addressed to me. I grabbed it gently and pulled the letter from the envelope. I don't know if I can do this. Still, I pushed on.

'Dearest Y/n,
If you're reading this then it's safe to assume that I will no longer be with you. I tried. I tried to hold on as best as I could. I'm afraid even as I write this letter my heart clenches physically and emotionally.
I'm sure you must be very lost and frankly exhausted. I wish I could be there to comfort you right now but this will have to do. Even if I cannot be with you in body, my soul will be with you, always.
You are the strongest person I've ever met in my life. I'm so proud of who you are and who you will become. No matter what happens in your life and relationships, I promise to love you forever.
When everything is all said and done I hope you can find peace. I wish for you to be a child with my dying breath. Go have fun with your life and when you get tired, retire to a small house in the forest. I wanted that for my daughter as well. Now I'm with her.
As for what to do with me, just bury me near her. I believe in you dear,
-with love, always forever, Louise.'