Angel Wings (SPN) #Wattys2015

{16}

Dean watched as Cas packed his bag, mind foggy.

~~~during the whole ordeal~~~

"Sam Winchester was brought here too." Dean's brain tried to think of any explanation for why they worded it that way, other than the one that immediately came to mind. His brain went numb as everything seemed to go out of focus and his breathing quickened. All he could focus on were those six words. He hoped with all his heart that Sam was okay, that Gabe got the brunt of the crash. He knew it was unfair to Cas, but to him, Gabe was the one to blame. His sweet Sammy wouldn't cause this, cause him so much pain. It had to be Gabe. It had to be. It had to be. It-

"-didn't make it here."

Dean's mind seemed to snap back into reality, his hearing focused and his emotions raw. Though he hadn't fully comprehended or heard the words before it, he seemed to know what they said.

Sam was dead.

And he blamed Gabe. But Gabe was in a coma. He couldn't take his anger out on someone in a coma. His mind, wrought with grief and horror, turned to Castiel, who was trying to comfort him. How dare he, when it was his fault-his and that horrible horrible brother of his? Gabe was in the car with Sam. He was alive-if barely-and Sam was not. He had been coming back early with Sam, because Castiel let them. He had LEFT with Sam because Castiel brought them here.

Some part of his mind knew. Knew he was being irrational and cruel to poor Cas, who's brother could be dying. But a darker, shadowy part of Dean's mind fought back.

And he snapped.

He wasn't quite sure what he had actually said. Something about blaming Cas and Gabe. All he was sure about saying was the last sentence.

The man I thought I loved.

He knew that one phrase, those key words, would break Cas, hurt him, and he knew how untrue they were. He still loved his Castiel, with hidden angel wings.

But Dean was blinded. Blinded by grief, by a need to blame. Blinded by love, but also by hate. Blinded by a terror, a shadow, crossing his heart, but could not fight.

And as he said those last words, that last phrase, to the man whom he loved, he knew that it would be a long time before this was resolved.

As Cas packed his bag, Dean only watched, keeping all emotion from his face, watching his best friend-whom he loved-leave his house, maybe forever.

But as soon as the door shut, as soon as Cas walked away, down the street until he got a taxi, Dean let his emotions flow freely. There was no one to see, no one to judge, no one to try to console his pain. There was no paparazzi, no tabloids, no rumors.

And so Dean went insane. Sobbing, tears streaming down his face, he went into Castiel's bedroom, still full of his stuff. Breaking down, he fell on the bed, before leaping up and kicking the wall so hard it cracked.

He screamed with raw emotion before falling, exhausted, on the floor, where he lay for hours.

His brother was gone. Never to return.

His best friend had left him, too hurt to try and stay. He now realized it was his fault.

His only other friend was in a hospital, in a coma, probably comforted by the one he wanted to see so much yet knew he couldn't.

Sure there was Bobby. But he had been visiting less lately. Work was tiring him out.

And so, Dean was alone.

~~~~~

Cas walked out the door quickly, Dean's words seeming to follow him. He didn't even know where he was going, or how he was going to get there. He had always used Dean's Impala. Sighing, he called a cab, rare here, and waited for it to show up. When it arrived, he asked to be taken to the hospital.

He hoped Gabe would be ok. Sighing, he leaned against the car's seat and watched as the scenery whizzed by. When they arrived at the hospital, Cas thanked the driver and payed him before walking in.

Walking up to the desk, he cleared his throat before asking, "Hi, I'd like to see Gabriel Novak?"

"Yes, of course, are you two related?"

"He's my brother."

"Oh, sweetie. Hopefully he will pull on through. Is Dean Winchester with you? You were together when we called right?"

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat. "No, he's not. He...took the news a little harshly."

"Understandable. We'll contact him about his brother's body later. Now, your brother is in room 262, second floor."

Castiel thanked the lady. She seemed nice enough. He decided not to wait for the elevator and instead took the stairs to the second floor, where he easily found room 262. A nurse let him in, and he gasped when he did.

There was Gabe, laying on the bed, unmoving. His eyes were closed and his skin was pale and pink. There was a bandage wrapped thickly around his head, and splints on both arms and legs. His chest was wrapped too, and he was cut up and bruised.

"The splints are temporary. We will change them to casts later. If he wakes up, we want him to have as little recovery time as possible."

Castiel's throat clenched. If. They didn't think Gabe was gonna survive.

"He has a major concussion, along with some clotting. The coma is deep, and with the extra damage, it isn't clear." Cas nodded, unable to speak as he sat in one of the chairs next to his brother's bed, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. Tears for Gabe, who must be in pain, whether physical or mental. Tears for Gabe, who would suffer when he woke. Tears for Sam, who left too early, with work still to do. Tears for Dean, who was all alone and blaming. Tears for himself, for losing everything.

And he stayed like that all night.

A/N Sorry for the long wait! I decided that to make things more easy and fun for me, I would finish the fanfiction before I posted any more. So yes. The entire thing is complete. However...I won't update all at once. I like suspense. You guys will just have to wait. Also, thanks SO MUCH for 500 views!! It means so much. ALSO ALSO i entered this fanfiction into #Wattys2015 so...yeah.ALSOOOOO shoutout to vmitch for going and voting on EVERY CHAPTER and spamming me. THANKS!!!