Green With Envy || Yoonmin

16; "I hate you"

Jimin doesn't remember why he said all the stuff he said earlier. Did he even have a reason? He would like to think so, or else he'd feel cringe as hell.

After he cried in Yoongi's arms for a little bit, he pushed Yoongi away rather harshly and told him never to touch him again, then stormed off to the dorms.

Unfortunately, Taehyung wasn't in their room. Jimin wanted to ask him about his first session with the nutritionist. He hated how he didn't go with him, but he just couldn't endure seeing him there.

Yes, it would help him a lot, but it also is a painful process for Taehyung and everyone around him. He knows Jungkook has been a little distant lately; he does that when he's mad at Taehyung for not listening to him or when Taehyung does something he doesn't approve of.

Taehyung doesn't really have a problem with Jungkook's attitude. He knows it's what's best for him. Even though sometimes what's best is a little draining. Dealing with Jungkook is never draining, though.

After all his classes finished, Jimin went to the dance studio and decided to stay there until he felt good enough to deal with the outer world.

And by the outer world, he means Taehyung's condition and his insecurities.

He wants to talk about it with Taehyung, but he knows the younger already has a lot on his plate. He hates to admit it, but talking to Yoongi did make him feel a little bit better. Even if he didn't say the complete truth, he still feels like a weight off his chest.

Now, he is standing alone in his shared room, his roommate nowhere to be found. His face feels numb from how much he cried.

He thinks about calling Taehyung, but he decides to go against the idea. Taehyung is probably visiting his parents for a few hours. If Jimin has to guess, he'll say that Taehyung finished his therapy and decided to stop by at his parents' house.

Jimin doesn't want to be left alone. He doesn't trust himself at the moment.

He decides to go on his phone for a little bit, thinking it can help him get his mind off things, at least for the time being.

After swiping on tiktok for about sixty-five seconds, and biting his lips til the point where they're bleeding, he sighs and closes the app.

If he's on his phone, he might as well use it wisely. He goes on Google and types a question; 'How to relief pain?'

At first, he finds useless answers like, 'watch asmr' or, 'go for a walk', but then he comes across the frequency asked, and a specific one peeks his interest.

'Why do people do self-harm to relieve their pain?'

Self-harm?

He furrows his eyebrows, a little confused. Why would people do self-harm to relieve their pain? And,... does it actually work?

He absent-mindedly taps on the question, and it's like he enters a whole new world. An unofficial looking site opens, and there's a whole community talking about self-harm.

Jimin scans the site quickly, and it seems like everyone on here praises self-harm. He doesn't get it, he thought it was a bad thing. Why are these people making it seem like it's a great solution for their problems?

He can't help but read.

'LOL, my dad yelled at me today and I locked myself in the bathroom and cut myself. It felt great after. The way he saw my scars and felt guilty made me happy'

'It honestly brings so much peace and relief to my soul. It's like an addiction. It's always my number one solution to any problem.'