The Way Through Stone Village (Naruto)

66: On the Town

[OP: "Eurus"--The Oh Hellos]

Sasuke knew what Shine wanted to hear--finally, he knew it.

Or had he known it all along?

But...when she asked him that, the first thing he felt was fear.

Not anger, but fear... or maybe that anger had always been fear.

Not now, he was not satisfied to just be angry at Shine. She'd worked too long to make sure it was impossible not to listen to her at least somewhat seriously, and that made the anger go away.

And she was right...as usual. She knew what was eating him...literally, maybe.

The realization made him a lot more meek than usual.

"I wouldn't know where to start." He finally held his hand in a tired way. "If I was honest... all my miserable life I've never been any different."

"That's not true." Shine was surprisingly strong about this. "That's not fair to yourself. You have been different, sometimes. You act as if there's never been anything you've done right, Sasuke. You've forgotten it, that's all. But no one is ever unable to do good at least a few times in their life, and I know you."

"So what if there were a few things here and there?" Sasuke said. "I can't even remember why I did them now. So what is it to anyone else? Besides, it's like what the others say. I'm afraid to care anymore."

He gripped his sheets again. "I mean...look at this, you've done nothing but try to help me, and I never thanked you for it because I wasn't grateful. And I don't feel grateful now. You think I don't know that that is deeply messed up? I know it is, but it's the way I am."

"I think you should calm down."

"Well, it is!" Sasuke was angry again, but now it was at himself more than her.

Shine shook her head. "You sound like me, honestly," she said. "I have had trouble with that too... Sasuke, please, it's not like you can't tell we're helping you--you're not that insane... The reason you don't feel it is because you're afraid to. Same as with me, once. Fear gets in the way. But really, I think you always knew. And I don't really care if you feel it or not, right now. So don't get so upset about that part, please."

"I just don't know how you can stand it." Sasuke sounded miserable now. "I'm a waste of people's time, and at least I know that. But they kept trying anyway."

"And why do you think that is?" Shine asked.

Pause.

"I have no idea." Very frustrated. "They don't believe me when I tell them, I guess."

"Perhaps, but for me it was really more that it didn't really matter," Shine said. "If it was a few times or not, it's the right thing to do. And can you allow that your other friends may just feel the same way? Maybe they know you a little better than you think--however blind as they have been, I'm not so sure Sakura ever really didn't know that, and Naruto must have at least starting to wonder, even him. But they believed it was the right thing to do, never to give up. Surely you can recognize that, even if you don't understand why they feel that way. And they aren't wrong; if it's possible to show mercy, we should show mercy. We just disagree in different places about when it's too late for that. However, all this had worked out the way it has, so maybe they were right."

"So?" Sasuke was sour. "So if you think it's the right thing, so what? It doesn't change me."

"No, but it's a big step to have you admit that," Shine said. "I'm glad of it. Because you make everything about you, but it can just be about doing what's right, whether it's you or someone else. Look at the team and notice that many are rejects, but here in this team, they belong. Because we don't give people up for lost so easily."