The Way Through Stone Village (Naruto)

41: Moonlit Musings

[OP: "O Sleeper"--The Oh Hellos]

Sasuke wondered if Shine was too optimistic after all. 

"I don't think there's any real good to come out of it all," he said flatly. "It's as you said--if I wasted all my life pursuing things that ultimately didn't happen, there's nothing to show for it."

"Nothing to you," Shine said, "but God can use anything to bring about His glory. And to help people. I wouldn't count it out. But if you worry about that, you need to know what you want it all to mean. You know, 4 years is not really so long, in the course of someone's life, to spend in the wrong way, if, after that point, you change trajectory."

"It's long enough." Sasuke was frowning. "I don't even really care about hurting people, even now. It's just that it angers me to have nothing to show for it. That's not the kind of regret you're looking for."

"Not for me to say." Shine shrugged. "Maybe that's what you need to feel. I know I don't control this process. Ultimately, you have to choose what you will take away from it."

"You always say that I have to choose. But what if I don't know how to?"

"You will sooner or later." Shine didn't seem concerned. "The choice will always be clear eventually. We worry so much over those things that will happen naturally. Trust me, you will be tested on what you've decided. If you pass or not will depend on what you truly want. You may not even know that's what it is till the moment you're tested." She tugged her hair.

Sasuke had another question, one he thought she'd avoided earlier.

"Did you want to do this because of what you thought I was like before?" he asked. "You thought that it was still there? Somewhere?"

Shine was ready for that question.

"No," she said. "I didn't really know if that person was still a part of you. I'm not like Naruto and Sakura. I think people can change their character. But if we hoped it was true, can you blame us? We might all hope someone still has some goodness inside them. Is that the answer you wanted?"

Again Sasuke really didn't know.

He wished she'd have said if she still thought so... He was surprised she didn't think what he'd done earlier today showed it.

"So why did you?" he asked for the umpteenth time.

"Nice try." Shine shook her head. "Still not ready to explain. But perhaps we're getting close."

"What percentage of trust do I have now?" Sasuke couldn't believe he said something that almost sounded like a joke.

"25% maybe."

"I only get up to 25% for that?" A little insulted.

"Well, you said yourself that it's not because you're a good person," Shine replied. "So why should it be more than that? You know, some progress is still progress."

"I'd have to be flawless to get to 100% trust." Sasuke was annoyed.

"I'm not sure anyone has 100% of my trust except for God," Shine mused. "So maybe you're right. Even my partner and I are liable to disagree, and he's still human, so he'll fail me at times. Though he's close to perfect about that. I'd hardly notice it."

Sasuke didn't care to respond to that.

"I'm gonna go now. I'm exhausted." Shine rubbed her face.

"Wait." Sasuke had still another pressing question. "Are you all going back to your world now?"

"Shh," Shine hissed. "I can't be sure the walls don't have ears now..."

She looked around. "And I'm not sure about that. There may be other things we can do... Don't lose sleep over it just yet. For now we'll just leave the Village with all of you and head back, I guess."