Embracing My Shepherd [COMPLETED]

Chapter 12

Compliments

I used to believe that falling in love in this reality seems unlikely to happen. I got scared about the possibility of what falling im love could do. I was scared to admit that I fear falling in love...

Especially when I grew up not knowing how to love properly. I lived in a cruel city where love was gate kept from me. Growing up I never experienced those little talks with my mother about boys. Those shopping sessions as a rest with each other. Instead I grew up learning how to survive on my own.

I never met my father, my mother always told me that my father was with someone else. And he left me with her because I am just a burden. Afraid that she might also abandon me I grew up trying my best just to please her but little did I know she already abandoned me from the start.

When I was a kid I used to believe that maybe I am not worth loving and taking care of. Maybe this is what I deserve. Lying in a cold floor, with the color red in my face and color purple in my arms. Tired and lifeless that's what it felt like.

Like the world was against you being happy. Like the universe told me that this is what I deserve. Being happy isn't for me. Maybe...they were right. And so I believed that maybe love and being happy is not for me. I accepted it. I accept that no one will ever be capable of loving me.

They're scared of me. I am a fire... I burn those who come closer to me. I hurt them.

But little did I know, a boy named Maivann Nash Santos, will make me feel the love that I deserve. The care that my inner child has always wished... he did everything just to make me and my inner child feel safe and worth it.

And for once I felt safe inside his arms as if it was a home that was meant for me.. a home that was waiting for me. And I wish in all of my lifetime, may I always find this home- inside his arms. As he hug me tighter as if he's afraid that once he let go i'll be slipping away from him into the air and will never be seen again.

He's making sure that I will never slip away from him, he made me feel that if there would be a possibility that I'll slip away from his arms he wouldn't be able to forgive himself and will turn the world upside down just to find me.

And maybe thinking that is just my delusions but what ever right? This is what he's making me feel. And so... I decided to sacrifice myself for him... I decided to love him whatever it takes... and maybe... in this way... I could learn how to love... with him.

I smiled and waved at him as I watched him walk closer to me. Nakatambay ako ngayon sa may bintana upang mag pahangin habang nag aaral habang siya naman ay galing sa canteen upang bumili ng makaka-kain.

I watch him walk towards me as if he was in a runway.

Napailinh na lamang ako at inabala ang paningin sa pag babasa nang reviewer hanggang sa maramdaman ko siya sa aking tabi.

He put down a dutchmill in front of me.

I looked at him and smirked.

"Sakin?" I asked, he looked at me from the side of his eyes before nodding. I smiled and thanked him bago kinuha iyon.

"Paano 'to?" I asked him and showed him the problem.

He glance at it. May kinuha siyang scratch paper at lapis upang ituro sa akin kung paano gawin ang problem.

Science tapos may math?!

"Cross multiply then divide both side by this number so this will be cancel." He explained,

Tumango-tango ako habang nakikinig ng mariin.

"Ahh! Pero paano mo malalaman 'yung mga ito?" I asked him.