Paranormal Prodigies (Phoebe Spengler x Male Reader)

The Dirt Farmer?

"Okay and we're speeding, three, two, one... uh yeah, just introduce yourself, and tell me whatcha ate for breakfast." Podcast started again, raising his microphone into your faces.

"Phoebe... toast." She matter-of-factly stated, halting her pace.

You shrugged before interjecting, "Y/N... cereal."

Podcast grumbled, clearly dejected. He took off his headphones, wrapping them around his neck before prompting.
"Okay, maybe a little more, one of you tell me a joke!" He quickly shifted.

"A joke?" Phoebe pondered, stealing a quick glance at you.

"Don't look at me, I got nothing!" You chuckled.

"Alright... what do you call a dead polar bear?" Phoebe flashed a small grin.

You and Podcast exchanged looks, unsure of what the answer would be. After a second, you both shrugged and turned back to her to see whatever the punchline was.

"Anything you want. It can't hear you now."

You doubled over laughing, while Podcast let out a small chortle. Perhaps you'd reacted a bit too hard, but truth be told, it was quite clever. Not to mention it caught you off guard, coming from someone so usually stoic.

"Wow, that was funny! You're funny." Podcast retorted, clearly not as amused as yourself.

"That was pretty good, Phoebe!" You finally regained your breath and flashed a cheshire smile.

You weren't sure, but it seemed like a subtle blush had crept across her cheeks as you'd made your remark.

Podcast was still interested in talking it seemed, beginning to walk and talk, "Fun fact, did you know that Summerville actually has more dead residents than living ones?"

"Yeah, that's how cemetery's work." Phoebe glumly remarked, shrugging.

"I mean, what about the principal? I think she might be a zombie, she looks half dead already." You sighed.

Podcast turned and pointed at a building across the street, "There's Wertheimer's Hardware, run by the illuminati. Lizard people."

"Seriously?" You groaned, "Podcast, please tell me you're not one of those crazy conspiracy theorists..."

"Lizard people?" Phoebe looked intrigued.

"Jefferson, Einstein, Beyoncé. How do you think we got the pyramids?" He continued, sounding like the average tinfoil hat wearing naysayer.

"Slaves." Phoebe pushed her glasses up.

"I mean yeah, that makes sense–" You turned to her– "I'm starting to think he's a little nutty."

Podcast stopped, pointing across the street.

"There's the movie theater, and oh yeah, that one's haunted."

"What are you, five? I've never met someone who actually believes in ghosts." You grumbled again, growing slightly tired of his antics.

"Yeah, I don't believe in ghosts." Phoebe confirmed.

"What, how can you–" Podcast snapped his attention back and forth between the two of you– "I mean, all the evidence, and you still don't believe in spirits?"

"Nah man." You concluded abruptly.

"I think we're all just meat puppets." She eloquently put it.

"There's something you both need to see, I'll grab my wheels." Podcast's tone was suddenly ominous and foreboding.