The King's Curse

Alone.

Lara

And so, I laid there on the cold wood floor. The draft blowing gently under the door seamed to sooth me as if I was a restless child in need of soothing after a terrible nightmare. 

I laid there knees to my chest hoping that if perhaps I made myself smaller this feeling of anguish and pain would evade me.

I laid there with my hands in tight fists firmly grasped into my chest. Almost grabbing on to my ever-drifting sanity.

I rocked myself in an attempt to sooth myself and yet it did me no favors.

The memories of my human life flashed before my eyes. My mother or my aunt now humming in the kitchen every morning as the smell of maize porridge permeated the house followed closely by my bothers urging over who gets to shower first. Then the all so familiar sound of dad's car pulling up to the house and the metal bang of the door being shut. My mothers exited scream as she greats him as if she hasn't seen him in years, my father laughing at her over reaction followed by my youngest brother Thato saying eww at our parents display of affection. My dad telling us the most recent vampire hunting victory he got and cautioning us about these vampires.

"Lara would fall for a vampire trap" Themba would say. 

"I would not!" I would exclaim loudly.

"You would they would just have to say hey do you want some free mango pickle? and you would say yes please and follow them to your death" he would continue.

" Or he would tell her Hey I have a Ps5 at home would you like to play Boulders Gate with me? and she would be gone" Thato would add amused.

"That is not true!" I would attempt to defend myself.

"Boys! don't assume your sister is so easy to fool. You just have to tell her you have a cute puppy at home, and she would follow." mother would add equally amused.

"Wow!" I would exclaim as I joined in the laughter.

But now I am alone, and that reality is something I will never experience again.

So, this is it.

I am dead. 

Lara Shabalala is dead.

How young she was. only 21.

What a tragedy she never got to graduate, she never got to meet the love of her life, she never got to get married, she never got her driver's license. 

I never got a black vintage heart cake for my birthday. 

I wonder whose fault is that? Who ended this young life before it could begin? God? The Devil? Zues? My adoptive parents? My dead parents? Me?

The answer is as clear as the daylight I now fear. Gabriel.

And in this moment, I vow with all my heart and all my soul that I will destroy everything that Gabriel holds dear to his heart even if it means I die with him.

I pulled myself off of the floor and dragged my body across the room to the chair Themba left near the bed. every step filled with purpose but lacking in energy. I finally grabbed the chair and began dragging it across the room toward the vanity where it originally was before my brother pulled it up.

I sat in front of the vanity mirror I took in my disheveled appearance. My hair was a mess its usually long curls seamed to matt together, my face covered in my red tears, my now black dull eyes looked back at me. 

"It's okay, you have me." I whispered to myself in the mirror.

I found an afro comb in the vanity, I guess someone unpacked my things for me. 

Slowly and gently like my mother would I combed my hair. Slowly I cut my hair. Inch by inch. I cut Lara's hair off to unveil me Lilith.

Taking in my new appearance in the mirror I felt satisfied. My afro stood tall and round on my head every stand at the perfect length like a heavily curated art piece. My black eyes now had a new emoition. Determination.

I stood up from the vanity and slowly walked to the daisin of water across the room yet again.

 I washed my face. In this moment I was not only washing away my tears I was putting a lovly young girl to rest as her family would have wanted.

I closed the curtains and the mechanical blinds that blocked out the sun and walked to the bed laid down and slowly drifted to sleep for the last time as Lara Shabalala, and for the last time I hummed my faivorate lullaby.